I hate it when a webhost is shown pretty good evidence that a domain is being used in a scam, yet they won't shut it down. Therefore, I'll just publicly out said domain and said host here, instead.

I get a rather elaborate approach mail from "Barrister Willam Beckham".

Scammer language in blue.

FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA

MINISTRY OF JUSTICE

LEGAL DEPARTMENT/AUTHENTICATION UNIT

SAKAR TINUBU-VICTORIA ISLAND – LAGOS.

Auto control number: 234-1-7753763

E-mail: FGN_ministry_justice2@mmail.com

E-mail: contact@StevenThomassonChambers.com

Date: 14/06/06



LETTER OF CONFIRMATION

TO; Baiter Name



ON THIS DAY, WEDNESDAY, 14/06/06, WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF A POWER OF ATTORNEY ISSUED BY YOU ON YOUR OUTSTANDING FUNDS, WHICH WAS SUBMITTED TO US BY THE DEBT SETTLEMENT UNIT AS THEY ARE THE ONLY BODY TO LOOK INTO ON PAID BILLS WHICH WHERE OWED TO ALL OUR NUMEROUS BENEFICIARY,

THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WHICH YOU SUBMITTED REQUESTING THE ABOVE MENTIONED OFFICE TO MAKE THE CHANGES ON YOUR PAYMENT INFORMATION IN FAVOR OF ONE OF YOUR DIRECTORS (MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) WHOM HIS PICTURE IS ATTACHED ON THIS MESSAGE TO MAKE CLAIM ON YOUR OUTSTANDING PAYMENT WITH THE BANK, BASE ON YOUR DECLARATION ON THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WHICH WE RECEIVED BELOW ARE THE FOLLOWING POINT.



1) ALL THE TRANSACTION DOCUMENTS SHOULD BE CHANGED IN FAVOR OF MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,)



2) MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) IS BEEN RECOGNIZED BY YOU AS YOUR COMPANIES’ MANAGER WHICH IS FROM PERU.



3) THE PAYMENT OF THIS TRANSACTION’S SHOULD BE REMITTED TO MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) HIS BANK ACCOUNT IN PERU, WHICH ACCOUNT NO: 90-38-003 OF BANQUET CANTO-NALE AT VAUDOSIE IN PERU ACCOUNT NAME HELOU PIERMATTEL CHAMBERS.



4) WE ARE INFORMED THAT THIS SUDDEN DEVELOPMENT WAS DUE TO YOUR ILLNESS AS YOUR PERSONAL PHYSICIAN HAS INFORMED YOU THAT YOU HAVE ONLY 30 DAYS TO LIVE. BECAUSE OF THIS REASON, YOU PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED TO SHARE YOUR ASSETS THE ABOVE MENTIONED NAME IS NOW ENTITLED TO CLAIM YOUR CONSIGNED FUNDS UNDER THIS NEW DISPENSATION.



BASE ON YOUR REQUEST, UNDER SUB SECTION 9 A-C, ARTICLE 5, SECTION 2 OF THE LEGAL PROVISION ON EVERY OUTSTANDING BILLS OF 1986, THE NEW BENEFICIARY AND BANK CO-ORDINATES WHICH YOU SUBMITTED, ALL PROCESS TO COMMENCE THE CHANGES OF RIGHT OF FUNDS IN FAVOUR OF YOUR MANAGER HAS BEEN IN PROCESS AS SOON AS WE ARE DONE WITH ALL NECESSARY CHARGES AS REQUESTED BY YOU WE WILL THEN ADVICE THE BANK TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER AS REQUESTED. BY YOU.



BE INFORMED THAT THE AUTHENTICATION OF YOUR FILE WILL BE COMMENCE IN FEW DAYS FROM NOW AS SOON AS THAT IS DONE, THE BANK WILL BE SENDING TO YOU THE TRANSFER CONFIRMATION OF THE FUNDS AS YOU REQUESTED IN YOUR POWER OF ATTORNEY, AN INSTRUCTION WILL BE GIVEN TO OUR CORRESPONDING BANK FOR THE IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF THE PAYMENT TO YOUR MANAGER WHO IS THE ONLY LEGAL PERSON TO RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS BASE ON YOUR SUBMISSION



AS SOON AS WE MAKE THE CONFIRMED OF THE PAYMENT OF THE REVALIDATION WHICH WERE MADE TODAY BY YOUR MANAGER, AS SOON AS THE PROCESS IS COMPLETED WITHIN 48HOURS WE WILL BE SENDING TO HIM THE PAYMENT REMITTANCE INFORMATION’S AS YOU REQUESTED ON YOUR LETTER



WE WILL ALSO MAKE SURE THAT THE IRREVOCABLE TRANSFER BOND WILL BE RELEASE TO THE RECEIVING BANK, TO GUARANTEE THAT THERE WILL NOT BE ANY INTERFERENCE AS THE AFFECTED TRANSACTION HAS OUR MANDATE.



FINALLY, ON BEHALF OF THIS ORGANIZATION, WE SYMPATHIES WITH YOU ON YOUR PRESENT ILLNESS..



THE ATTACHED FILES IS A COPY OF THE INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OF YOUR MANAGER WHICH YOU PRESENTATED.





Yours faithfully,



SOLICITOR Williams BECKAMAN (SAN)

HEAD OF LEGAL DEPARTMENT

www.mmail.com is yet another free webmail provider, and www.StevenThomassonChambers.com is a placeholder page on a scammer registered domain.

Considering Netfirms has its logo, name and links splashed all over the placeholder page, I think it's a safe bet to say this is hosted by Netfirms.

I presume this is a scammer who either tried me before and got nowhere, or a scammer who "bought" my information from another scammer and is trying to "continue"' a scam.

I first reply to the scammer.

ON THIS DAY, WEDNESDAY, 14/06/06, WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF A POWER OF ATTORNEY ISSUED BY YOU ON YOUR OUTSTANDING FUNDS, WHICH WAS SUBMITTED TO US BY THE DEBT SETTLEMENT UNIT AS THEY ARE THE ONLY BODY TO LOOK INTO ON PAID BILLS WHICH WHERE OWED TO ALL OUR NUMEROUS BENEFICIARY,



I don't have any "unpaid funds", and I certainly didn't issue a power of attorney.


THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WHICH YOU SUBMITTED



I didn't submit one.

REQUESTING THE ABOVE MENTIONED OFFICE TO MAKE THE CHANGES ON YOUR PAYMENT INFORMATION IN FAVOR OF ONE OF YOUR DIRECTORS (MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,)


I don't have any "directors", either. I don't even have a company, and I've never heard of that person.



WHOM HIS PICTURE IS ATTACHED



No it's not. There's no picture here.


ON THIS MESSAGE TO MAKE CLAIM ON YOUR OUTSTANDING PAYMENT WITH THE BANK, BASE ON YOUR DECLARATION ON THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WHICH WE RECEIVED BELOW ARE THE FOLLOWING POINT.



I don't have a payment at the bank, and I don't have any power of attorney, either, so where are you getting this crap?


1) ALL THE TRANSACTION DOCUMENTS SHOULD BE CHANGED IN FAVOR OF MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,)



Whatever. I have no idea who the fuck that is.


2) MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) IS BEEN RECOGNIZED BY YOU AS YOUR COMPANIES' MANAGER WHICH IS FROM PERU.



I don't have a company, and I don't know anyone from Peru.


3) THE PAYMENT OF THIS TRANSACTION'S SHOULD BE REMITTED TO MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) HIS BANK ACCOUNT IN PERU, WHICH ACCOUNT NO: 90-38-003 OF BANQUET CANTO-NALE AT VAUDOSIE IN PERU ACCOUNT NAME HELOU PIERMATTEL CHAMBERS.



Whatever. Isn't my money. Why are you giving out the bank account number of some guy I don't know in email. Isn't that reckless of you? What if I stole his money from his account or something.

4) WE ARE INFORMED THAT THIS SUDDEN DEVELOPMENT WAS DUE TO YOUR ILLNESS AS YOUR PERSONAL PHYSICIAN HAS INFORMED YOU THAT YOU HAVE ONLY 30 DAYS TO LIVE.



You've heard something I haven't then. I'm fit as a fiddle, I'm not ill, and my doctor certainly hasn't told me I only have 30 days to live.


BECAUSE OF THIS REASON, YOU PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED TO SHARE YOUR ASSETS THE ABOVE MENTIONED NAME IS NOW ENTITLED TO CLAIM YOUR CONSIGNED FUNDS UNDER THIS NEW DISPENSATION.



What consigned funds? I don't have any consigned funds.


BASE ON YOUR REQUEST, UNDER SUB SECTION 9 A-C, ARTICLE 5, SECTION 2 OF THE LEGAL PROVISION ON EVERY OUTSTANDING BILLS OF 1986, THE NEW BENEFICIARY AND BANK CO-ORDINATES WHICH YOU SUBMITTED, ALL PROCESS TO COMMENCE THE CHANGES OF RIGHT OF FUNDS IN FAVOUR OF YOUR MANAGER HAS BEEN IN PROCESS AS SOON AS WE ARE DONE WITH ALL NECESSARY CHARGES AS REQUESTED BY YOU WE WILL THEN ADVICE THE BANK TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER AS REQUESTED. BY YOU.



I haven't requested shit. You've got the wrong person, surely.


BE INFORMED THAT THE AUTHENTICATION OF YOUR FILE WILL BE COMMENCE IN FEW DAYS FROM NOW AS SOON AS THAT IS DONE, THE BANK WILL BE SENDING TO YOU THE TRANSFER CONFIRMATION OF THE FUNDS AS YOU REQUESTED IN YOUR POWER OF ATTORNEY, AN INSTRUCTION WILL BE GIVEN TO OUR CORRESPONDING BANK FOR THE IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF THE PAYMENT TO YOUR MANAGER WHO IS THE ONLY LEGAL PERSON TO RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS BASE ON YOUR SUBMISSION



I don't have a manager.


AS SOON AS WE MAKE THE CONFIRMED OF THE PAYMENT OF THE REVALIDATION WHICH WERE MADE TODAY BY YOUR MANAGER, AS SOON AS THE PROCESS IS COMPLETED WITHIN 48HOURS WE WILL BE SENDING TO HIM THE PAYMENT REMITTANCE INFORMATION'S AS YOU REQUESTED ON YOUR LETTER


Again, I didn't send a letter, I don't have a manager.

WE WILL ALSO MAKE SURE THAT THE IRREVOCABLE TRANSFER BOND WILL BE RELEASE TO THE RECEIVING BANK, TO GUARANTEE THAT THERE WILL NOT BE ANY INTERFERENCE AS THE AFFECTED TRANSACTION HAS OUR MANDATE.



FINALLY, ON BEHALF OF THIS ORGANIZATION, WE SYMPATHIES WITH YOU ON YOUR PRESENT ILLNESS..



Dude, I'm not dying. Not any faster than anyone else, anyway. I don't even have the sniffles.


THE ATTACHED FILES IS A COPY OF THE INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OF YOUR MANAGER WHICH YOU PRESENTATED.



No, you didn't attach anything. And no, I don't have a manager, and I didn't send you anyone's passport.


Yours faithfully,



SOLICITOR Williams BECKAMAN (SAN)

HEAD OF LEGAL DEPARTMENT




I think you need to go back and check your files or something. You've got the wrong person.
--

Poor lad, I'm sure he thought I was going to leap right in and steal this dying person's money. Instead, I'm flummoxed and honest.

I also forward, with full headers, the scam mail, to abuse@netfirms.com.

The following domain, www.steventhomassonchambers.com, seems to be in use by a 419/advance fee scammer. I received the following piece of spam from this person.

Here are the full headers, followed by the message.

X-Gmail-Received: 2cb5b58f3a954e255129ca181f9e7e211daccb70
Delivered-To: baiter address removed
Received: by 10.70.71.10 with SMTP id t10cs123514wxa;

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 09:09:56 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by 10.35.95.12 with SMTP id x12mr1270116pyl;
Wed, 14 Jun 2006 09:09:56 -0700 (PDT)
Return-Path: <
contact@steventhomassonchambers.com>
Received: from qmail-wm-norm-0.netfirms.com (231-mail.netfirms.com [
66.244.250.231])
by mx.gmail.com with SMTP id i64si1004345pye.2006.06.14.09.09.56;
Wed, 14 Jun 2006 09:09:56 -0700 (PDT)
Received-SPF: neutral (
gmail.com: 66.244.250.231 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of contact@steventhomassonchambers.com
)
Received: (qmail 44053 invoked from network); 14 Jun 2006 16:09:56 -0000
Received: from unknown (10.8.7.1)
by 0 with QMQP; 14 Jun 2006 16:09:56 -0000
Received: from
63.146.104.148
(SquirrelMail authenticated user
contact@steventhomassonchambers.com)
by wm1 with HTTP;
Wed, 14 Jun 2006 12:09:53 -0400 (EDT)

Message-ID: <28429.63.146.104.148.1150301393.squirrel@wm1>
Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2006 12:09:53 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: LETTER OF CONFIRMATION
From: contact@steventhomassonchambers.com

To: trina.perkins@gmail.com
User-Agent: SquirrelMail/1.4.4
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/html;charset=iso-8859-1
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
X-Priority: 3 (Normal)

Importance: Normal

- Show quoted text -


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: contact@steventhomassonchambers.com
Date: Jun 14, 2006 12:09 PM
Subject: LETTER OF CONFIRMATION
To: baiter address removed

- Show quoted text -



FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA

MINISTRY OF JUSTICE

LEGAL DEPARTMENT/AUTHENTICATION UNIT

SAKAR TINUBU-VICTORIA ISLAND – LAGOS.

Auto control number: 234-1-7753763

E-mail: FGN_ministry_justice2@mmail.com

E-mail: contact@StevenThomassonChambers.com

Date: 14/06/06



LETTER OF CONFIRMATION

TO; Baiter Name



ON THIS DAY, WEDNESDAY, 14/06/06, WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF A POWER OF ATTORNEY ISSUED BY YOU ON YOUR OUTSTANDING FUNDS, WHICH WAS SUBMITTED TO US BY THE DEBT SETTLEMENT UNIT AS THEY ARE THE ONLY BODY TO LOOK INTO ON PAID BILLS WHICH WHERE OWED TO ALL OUR NUMEROUS BENEFICIARY,

THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WHICH YOU SUBMITTED REQUESTING THE ABOVE MENTIONED OFFICE TO MAKE THE CHANGES ON YOUR PAYMENT INFORMATION IN FAVOR OF ONE OF YOUR DIRECTORS (MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) WHOM HIS PICTURE IS ATTACHED ON THIS MESSAGE TO MAKE CLAIM ON YOUR OUTSTANDING PAYMENT WITH THE BANK, BASE ON YOUR DECLARATION ON THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WHICH WE RECEIVED BELOW ARE THE FOLLOWING POINT.



1) ALL THE TRANSACTION DOCUMENTS SHOULD BE CHANGED IN FAVOR OF MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,)



2) MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) IS BEEN RECOGNIZED BY YOU AS YOUR COMPANIES' MANAGER WHICH IS FROM PERU.



3) THE PAYMENT OF THIS TRANSACTION'S SHOULD BE REMITTED TO MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) HIS BANK ACCOUNT IN PERU, WHICH ACCOUNT NO: 90-38-003 OF BANQUET CANTO-NALE AT VAUDOSIE IN PERU ACCOUNT NAME HELOU PIERMATTEL CHAMBERS.



4) WE ARE INFORMED THAT THIS SUDDEN DEVELOPMENT WAS DUE TO YOUR ILLNESS AS YOUR PERSONAL PHYSICIAN HAS INFORMED YOU THAT YOU HAVE ONLY 30 DAYS TO LIVE. BECAUSE OF THIS REASON, YOU PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED TO SHARE YOUR ASSETS THE ABOVE MENTIONED NAME IS NOW ENTITLED TO CLAIM YOUR CONSIGNED FUNDS UNDER THIS NEW DISPENSATION.



BASE ON YOUR REQUEST, UNDER SUB SECTION 9 A-C, ARTICLE 5, SECTION 2 OF THE LEGAL PROVISION ON EVERY OUTSTANDING BILLS OF 1986, THE NEW BENEFICIARY AND BANK CO-ORDINATES WHICH YOU SUBMITTED, ALL PROCESS TO COMMENCE THE CHANGES OF RIGHT OF FUNDS IN FAVOUR OF YOUR MANAGER HAS BEEN IN PROCESS AS SOON AS WE ARE DONE WITH ALL NECESSARY CHARGES AS REQUESTED BY YOU WE WILL THEN ADVICE THE BANK TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER AS REQUESTED. BY YOU.



BE INFORMED THAT THE AUTHENTICATION OF YOUR FILE WILL BE COMMENCE IN FEW DAYS FROM NOW AS SOON AS THAT IS DONE, THE BANK WILL BE SENDING TO YOU THE TRANSFER CONFIRMATION OF THE FUNDS AS YOU REQUESTED IN YOUR POWER OF ATTORNEY, AN INSTRUCTION WILL BE GIVEN TO OUR CORRESPONDING BANK FOR THE IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF THE PAYMENT TO YOUR MANAGER WHO IS THE ONLY LEGAL PERSON TO RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS BASE ON YOUR SUBMISSION



AS SOON AS WE MAKE THE CONFIRMED OF THE PAYMENT OF THE REVALIDATION WHICH WERE MADE TODAY BY YOUR MANAGER, AS SOON AS THE PROCESS IS COMPLETED WITHIN 48HOURS WE WILL BE SENDING TO HIM THE PAYMENT REMITTANCE INFORMATION'S AS YOU REQUESTED ON YOUR LETTER



WE WILL ALSO MAKE SURE THAT THE IRREVOCABLE TRANSFER BOND WILL BE RELEASE TO THE RECEIVING BANK, TO GUARANTEE THAT THERE WILL NOT BE ANY INTERFERENCE AS THE AFFECTED TRANSACTION HAS OUR MANDATE.



FINALLY, ON BEHALF OF THIS ORGANIZATION, WE SYMPATHIES WITH YOU ON YOUR PRESENT ILLNESS..



THE ATTACHED FILES IS A COPY OF THE INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OF YOUR MANAGER WHICH YOU PRESENTATED.





Yours faithfully,



SOLICITOR Williams BECKAMAN (SAN)

HEAD OF LEGAL DEPARTMENT

The domain itself appears to reside on your network, on the IP 64.34.66.19


Its registration goes only a year, which is typical of scammer sites.


Creation Date: 19-apr-2006
Expiration Date: 19-apr-2007

The registration contact information seems off as well.

Name: Charles Adedeji
Address: 15779 Columbia Pike
Burtonsville, MD 20866

US
Email Address: emmyagwuson@yahoo.co.uk

The address is for a Parcel Plus location.
http://www.parcelplus.com/locations_bystate.cfm?mode=all&state=MD
The contact email is a "co.uk" address.


Phone Number: (170)654-34556

And the phone number seems incorrect. Either there is an extra digit and it is supposed to be an Atlanta, GA number, or it is correct and may be in Antigua or Barbuda, according to an analysis at
http://www.numberingplans.com/?page=analysis&sub=phonenr


The domain itself does not have a functional website there. It appears to be email only at this point. Please check into it and see if this domain is being used by a spammer/scammer.


Thank you for your time.

Pretty cut and dried, I thought. However, either abuse at Netfirms didn't think so or didn't care. The domain is still functional.

William does care, however. At least about my money.

TO;Baiter Name



Thanks to your profound explanation, just for formality sake as you have declined that you did not have any funds with the Union bank Plc to the value of $18.5million but we are really concerned how you name reflected on the inherit sated funds we are resending the attached file also and request your final confirmation to really enable us know exactly what to do.



The purpose of including he bank details on the letter which we send to you, is just have your confirmation to the subject.



Regards

Solicitor William Beckam (SAN)

Now, does anyone have a clue what he's talking about. I don't think he does, frankly.

He does, for extra good measure, include a passport scan for a Peruvian gent, that looks so good, I'm quite convinced it at least started life as a victim's real passport. If it's been tweaked, they did a very nice job. The machine readable line at the bottom was covered up at some point, possibly by he vic, thinking they were somehow "protecting" themselves while still handing their passport over on a silver platter, but all in all, very convincing.



I decide to keep playing annoyed and puzzled.

Thanks to your profound explanation, just for formality sake as you have declined that you did not have any funds with the Union bank Plc to the value of $18.5million but we are really concerned how you name reflected on the inherit sated funds


How the hell would I know? Don't you people keep any records or anything?



we are resending the attached file also



Why? I already told you I don't have a clue who the hell this person is. I still don't. And isn't it also reckless of you to be sending a copy of someone's passport around?


and request your final confirmation to really enable us know exactly what to do.



How would I know? I already told you, it isn't my money, none of those documents are mine, and I don't know where the heck you got my email address or this wild story.


The purpose of including he bank details on the letter which we send to you, is just have your confirmation to the subject.



You're barking up the wrong tree for confirmation here.



Regards

Solicitor William Beckam (SAN)




Like I said, try someone else. None of this has anything to do with me.

Now the dope has forgotten the concept of "inline comments" apparently.

Ma,

Your email came through without any reponds to the subject below is what we got.

And dude, I am not your ma. Try writing the entire word "Madam" or "Maam" next time.

I feel lazy.

Read the inline comments. They're in and among your comments.

And now, my lad apparently starts hallucinating. Auditory ones, at that.

TO;Baiter Name

MADAM,

IT WAS REALLY NICE TALKING TO YOU ON THE PHONE NOW, THOUGH THIS PARTICULAR NUMBERS YOU CALLED {234-80-25788168} IS MY PRIVATE NUMBER. I DID NOT KNOW HOW YOU CAME ABOUT IT BUT HOW EVER OUR CONVERSATION TO NIGHT REALLY HELPED ME SO MUCH BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING UP MORE COMPLICATED PROJECT THAN THIS BUT I HAVE NOT COME ACROSS MORE DIFFICULT ONE OF THIS MATURE.





AS YOU HAVE REQUESTED THAT I CALLED BACK THE FILE FROM THE SENATE PRESIDENTIAL TASK FORCE, I WILL CERTAINLY DO THAT BUT THOUGH THE TASK FORCE HAS STARTED THEIR INVESTIGATION ALREADY BECAUSE I MADE A PERSONAL RECOMMENDATION AND DECLARATION TO THIS PROJECT. SINCE YOU INFORMED ME DURING OUR TELEPHONE CONVERSATION NOW THAT YOU WILL PROVIDE YOUR OFFSHORE BANK ACCOUNT WHERE YOU WILL NEED THE FUNDS TO BE TRANSFERRED TO.



AS SOON AS I RECEIVE THE COORDINATES FROM YOU I WILL MAKE MY RECOMMENDATION TO THE BANK AND MONITOR THE TRANSFER OF THE FUNDS TO AVOID ANY OTHER COMPLICATIONS. YOUR CALL TONIGHT REALLY MADE THIS JOB EASIER FOR ME AND MY TERM.



YOURS FAITHFULLY,



SOLICITOR WILLIAM Beckam {SAN}

Needless to say, I haven't called him. If it's supposed to a be a subtle way of giving me his number or getting me to play some role, it's shade too subtle.

Well, I figure if he's delusional, I might as well point it out.

MADAM,

IT WAS REALLY NICE TALKING TO YOU ON THE PHONE NOW, THOUGH THIS PARTICULAR NUMBERS YOU CALLED {234-80-25788168} IS MY PRIVATE NUMBER.



Was it really nice talking to me? That's fabulous. And quite the trick. Because I DIDN'T CALL YOU.

I DID NOT KNOW HOW YOU CAME ABOUT IT BUT HOW EVER OUR CONVERSATION TO NIGHT REALLY HELPED ME SO MUCH BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING UP MORE COMPLICATED PROJECT THAN THIS BUT I HAVE NOT COME ACROSS MORE DIFFICULT ONE OF THIS MATURE.



Whatever. Have you been drinking? Or perhaps snorting some powdered substance up your nasal passages?


AS YOU HAVE REQUESTED THAT I CALLED BACK THE FILE FROM THE SENATE PRESIDENTIAL TASK FORCE, I WILL CERTAINLY DO THAT BUT THOUGH THE TASK FORCE HAS STARTED THEIR INVESTIGATION ALREADY BECAUSE I MADE A PERSONAL RECOMMENDATION AND DECLARATION TO THIS PROJECT. SINCE YOU INFORMED ME DURING OUR TELEPHONE CONVERSATION NOW THAT YOU WILL PROVIDE YOUR OFFSHORE BANK ACCOUNT WHERE YOU WILL NEED THE FUNDS TO BE TRANSFERRED TO.



I didn't inform you of anything, because I didn't talk to you on any phone.


AS SOON AS I RECEIVE THE COORDINATES FROM YOU I WILL MAKE MY RECOMMENDATION TO THE BANK AND MONITOR THE TRANSFER OF THE FUNDS TO AVOID ANY OTHER COMPLICATIONS. YOUR CALL TONIGHT REALLY MADE THIS JOB EASIER FOR ME AND MY TERM.



YOURS FAITHFULLY,



SOLICITOR WILLIAM Beckam {SAN}



Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy. Hell, at this point, you're not even sounding as intelligent as a Jack In The Box.

Seriously, what are you on?

My lad replies in the only way he knows how. With a high WTF? factor.

Sir,

I got your mail we will get back to you within 72hours, we are making proper investigation concerning this issue.

My reply is short and sweet.

*sigh* What part of "I am not a man" do you not understand, you halfwit?

A light goes on! It's a very tiny light, but still, a light, nonetheless.

MADAM,



Finally, you got ONE thing right.


THIS IS TO CONFIRM TO YOU THE OUTCOME OF OUR INVESTIGATION, WE DISCOVERED TOTAL IGNORANT OVER THIS DEVELOPMENT BASED ON THE INFORMATION GIVEN TO US BY THE SENATE PRESIDENTIAL TASKFORCE.



And what the hell precisely would that mean?


THEY MADE US TO UNDERSTAND THIS COMPLICATIONS EMANATED FROM SOME OFFICIALS WHICH TOOK THE ADVANTAGE FOR THE FACT THAT YOUR TRANSACTION FILES HAS NOT BEEN INDEMNIFIED AND CASHED INTO IT TO CARRY OUT ALL THE CHANGES PERTAINING YOUR PROJECT STATIONERIES.


And what fucking files would they be? I've already told you, no one OWES me any money.


IN VIEW TO THIS DEVELOPMENT, AND TO INSURED THAT THIS ACT WILL NOT REOCCURRED AGAIN.



Damn it, how far up your arse is your head?


WE HAVE DECIDED YOUR FILE WILL UNDERGO THE INDEMNIFY PROCESS WHICH ALSO PROTECT YOU FROM PAYING ANY

>OTHER ADDITIONAL FEES FOR THE CONCLUSION AND RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT.

Since I haven't paid any fees, I can hardly pay "additional fees", now can I? And since you don't owe me any fucking payment, I won't be paying anything anyway. I don't HAVE a payment, for fuck's sake.


THE PROCESS ALSO GIVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE ALL THE REQUIRED REDUCTION FROM THE PRINCIPLE AMOUNT AND ALSO GRANT US THE OPPORTUNITY TO ADVICE THE PAYEE BANK IN EUROPE TO CONDUCT THE TRANSFER WHICH ALL RELATED LEGAL DOCUMENTATION PERTAINING THE REMITTANCE. WHICH ALSO PROTECT YOU FROM OBTAINING ANY DOCUMENTATION TO CERTIFY THE FUNDS OKEY IN YOUR COUNTRY?



That made no fucking sense. Really, you need to find someone who can actually WRITE English. While you're at it, find someone who can READ English to explain my emails to you. Maybe then you would QUIT BABBLING FUCKING NONSENSE AT ME!


THE INDEMNIFY PROCESS WILL COST YOU 0.01% OF THE VALUE OF YOUR FUNDS AND $870 WHICH STANDS AS THE NON-RESIDENTIAL AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIMS, AS SOON AS YOU CAN PROVIDE US WITH THIS FUNDS, THEN WE CAN SIGN THE SURETY AND LEGAL AGREEMENT WITHIN FIVE WORKING DAYS THIS ENTIRE ISSUE WILL BE AS GOOD AS BEEN CONCLUDED. AS THE WEST PARK BANK WILL BE DEALING DIRECTLY WITH YOUR BANK TO INSURE THE CONFIRMATION OF YOUR FUNDS INTO YOUR DESIGNATED ACCOUNT WITHOUT ANY INTEGRATION.



Seriously, what the fuck do I have to do to get you to understand. YOU HAVE THE WRONG PERSON, DICKHEAD.


REGARDING TO THE IMPOSTERS THE SECURITY AGENTS HAS CAUGHT TWO DIRECTORS FROM THE BANK WHICH ARE INVOLVED ON THIS ACT AND THEY HAVE STARTED MENTIONING OTHER NAMES THAT ARE INVOLVED IN THIS ACT. THEY ENSURED US THAT THEY ARE VERY CLOSE TO GET INFORMATION'S OF THEIR AGENT IN PERU.



Well, yay for whoever actually is owed this payment, then, but that isn't me.


WE WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD HEARING FROM YOU FOR MORE INFORMATION I CAN BE REACHED ON 234-1-7753763-EXT119



Are you sure you can operate a phone without injuring yourself?

SOLICITOR WILLIAM BECKAM {SAN}

He's quiet until July 21, then comes back with this.

TO;Baiter Name

I think we have given you so much grace till this time and we have not heard from you so what we will do right now is to move your file to the senate, we will not be held responsible if any thing should go wrong on your transaction note that your files are open

Good luck

William Beckam

Huh? Moo?

I figure I'll try to get a rise by calling him a fraudster, but frankly, I think he's too dense to know when he's been insulted.

So, make up your mind. Did you talk to me on the phone or not? You claimed in your last email that you did. Now you claim you haven't heard from me. So which is it?

Also, what the hell are you bloody on about? You still haven't explained why the heck you're contacting me or what about. I don't think you even know. You don't seem to keep records or files, or even know what your stinking job is, and you don't even have a damned webpage at that address.

I think you're some kind of fraudster.

Alas, no rise. No death threat. Not even another incomprehensible email, yet. I had rather grown fond of his babble...