Mike Ben emails me from the Office of the Director of Operation International Credit Settlement. It might as well be the office of the Lord High Executioner, methinks.
THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR CONTRACT /INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FUFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT. SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE OFFICIALS IN THE BANK ALL YOUR ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE FUND TO YOU. WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISHES TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM. RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC, THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION FROM MR. PRESIDENT, ALHAJI AMARU YAR'ADUA (GCFR) FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA AND FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE. THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD,BUT THE MAXIMUM IS ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS PER DAY, SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECIEVE YOUR FUND THIS WAY PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING THE CARD PAYMENT CENTER AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION TO HIM IN ORDER HIM TO PROCEED IMMEDIATELY: 1. YOUR FULL NAME 2. YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBER 3. YOUR ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD TO(P.O BOX NOT ACCEPTABLE) 4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION 5. A COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION HOWEVER, KINDLY FIND BELOW THE CONTACT PERSON: REV. DR BENJAMIN MEYER DIRECTOR, ATM PAYMENT DEPARTMENT EMAIL: BENJAMIN_MEYER@MYWAY.COM OFFICE NUMBER+234-1-4794704 THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT $8,300,000.00 AS PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2007. ALSO FOR YOUR INFORMATION, YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMINUCATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S) OR OFFICE(s) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN RECEIVING YOUR ATM PAYMENT. FOR ORAL DISCUSSION, I CAN BE REACHED ON +234-8037915313 OR EMAIL ME BACK AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR FURTHER DIRECTION AND ALSO UPDATE ME ON ANY DEVELOPMENT FROM THE ABOVE MENTIONED OFFICE. NOTE THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (ATM-318) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THE CARD CENTER BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT. BEST REGARDS, MR. MIKE BEN CHIEF AUDITOR TO THE PRESIDENT FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
Gee, that wouldn't take any time at all, what with the ATM limits...
And how would you know who I'm dealing with? And how do I know you're not a fraud? How do I know you're not an impostor?
I get the usual "I just type because I have no idea what's going on" reply.
Thanks very much for your reply,its reads nice because of what is happening here that why you are asking this.Its all okay by me,all i need to know is full contact,so that i can scan every information that you need to know about the Card that is coming to you. You are going to get all the papers from the Ministry of Finance.which you are going to comfirm before you do any thing with us. all you need to do is get us your full name.Your address,and your working phone number. Untill i hear from you good luck. Mike ben.
I'm feeling stubborn.
I repeat my question. How do I know you're not an impostor? Where is any proof? How do I know you're not some fraud with a hotmail account? You're not getting any of my information until I see some sort of proof.
I get the usual "Proof? What proof? You mean a silly fake name and a Hotmail account are not accepted as the height of competence and professional standing where you are?" reply.
What proof are you talking about,i have told you to send your full information,so that i will faward you all the document to you for you to confirm. I have try to let you understand that this not fraud,i know there are alot of fraud in the world now,every body have to be very carefull.but that not my own business,my business is make you understand that this not fraud. I am waiting to hear from you.Good luck. Mike Ben.
I turn up the paranoia.
Proof that you're not just some yahoo with a Hotmail account claiming to the the "chief auditor". Why don't you have a government email address? Where's your ID? Where's any proof that you are who you say you are? Where are any documents that prove you're not just making this story up? It takes more than an email to prove this. Why should I give my information to some complete and total stranger who just emails me out of the blue from a HOTMAIL account, which anyone can sign up for, claiming to work for some foreign government, just because he can type? Saying it in an email does not make it true. And why would you need my information in the first place? You already know my email address? How do you know my email address and how to get hold of me if you don't know I'm the rightful person to get this money, or anything else about me? If you have the information that says I deserve this money, and know my name and how to email me, you should know the rest of my information. WHERE DID YOU GET MY EMAIL ADDRESS? YOU came to ME with this story. The burden of proof is on you. Let's see your proof. If you're really a government employee, you'll have some.
He goes for the "But... but... I have YOUR details!" approach. Or... um... "datails".
Dear you have understand,i have your datails allready,i have to recomfirm it before,so that there will be no mistake. All you need to do is resend the information,so that i will get you all the needed papers.i will wait to hear from you. Mike.
I challenge that assertion. I want to see if he's either one of my bounceback lads, trying to scam me as a new persona/format, or a lad who got sold my information by another lad.
Then, let's see them. Show me MY details that you already have. Just one. Show me just one of them. If you had my details already, you wouldn't need me to send them again. Or, if you have my details, YOU should be willing to share YOUR details. I think you're just a complete liar, frankly. If you were really who you say you are, you would have nothing to hide and you could get me the needed papers with the details you say you already have. I'll wait to hear from you, instead, but I doubt I will. You're obviously just some ninny with a hotmail address and no government job. You don' t have any of my details, you just have a story full of holes. I say again, WHERE IS YOUR ID, "CHIEF AUDITOR"?
Hey, it is either a bounceback lad or a lad who has paid for or stolen "my" details.
I have you information,since you never belive me,i can never do anything base on your own case,look and confirm it,i have to take your own fille away from my office,since you belive i am not real good.all i have to tell you is check your information.but i will help you now on ONE CONDITION. This the information.Your full name is...... *baiter name* .....your address is.....*baiter address*.........your phone is ....*baiter phone*. Now you can know i am not lieing to you,i am only trying to make sure you pick up this fund.if you want to get me on phone You are free to call me on my 002348037915313.I wait for your call. Mike Ben
The name, address and phone are all bogus, obviously, but they are my character's. I'm sure he's expecting me to go all weak in the knees at this. I'm not exactly falling all over myself to believe him. I copy "Benjamin Meyer" on this, too. The "insults" to the country itself are, of course, not reflective of my personal views. But, since I'm playing a half-believing victim here, I think it would be straining credulity if I weren't a little upset at the "government" for failing to pay me "my money".
And that is my correct information. So, why are you still asking for it? You have it. Why should I give it to you again? YOU'VE GOT IT. You've had it for eons, you and your worthless, deadbeat government that never pays what it owes. And where, I ask again, is your identification? I demand identification before I waste my time and money on a phone call. Any government employee should be able to show identification. You're probably some janitor that cleans the offices and just copied down my information from the file, and that's why you're not showing any ID. And why, on earth, Mike Ben and Benjamin Meyer, if those are your real names, which I highly doubt, would you be proposing to pay me using an ATM card? The fricking ATM limits withdrawals. It would take YEARS to get the money I am owed, even if I went to the damned ATM every day! Look, if you are really going to send me an ATM card, send it. Ship it to my address. You have my address. You've had it for months. If you're not a liar, you'll ship it. Even though it makes a helluva lot more sense to, oh, I don't know, WIRE that kind of money to a bank account and sign over the account to me. If you're who you say you are, and you're telling the truth, you'll pay up and stop all this nonsense about confirming my address and my details and all that other ridiculous stuff. If your crummy little country is going to finally pay what it owes, pay me and stop fooling around about it. If not, quit wasting my time.
And here comes the request for money.
I saw your mail,and its reads nice,i amready to help you out get your full,but you have a clearance from the ministy of Fineces,whic is going to cost you a small amount of money before you fund will be transafer to you,in any way you need it . You are advice to reply this email so that i willknow your faith. Mike
Incredulity rears its ugly head.
And what is the Ministry of "Fineces"? Look, you can't be for real. This would be a completely ridiculous way to pay a government debt.
He's sort of giving up at this point... Pity, he's fun.
there is no way i will help when you never trust what i am doing,for the first time you never belive me,now i have given you all the proof that you needed to know. I want to help you get your fund,but we have get a clearance from the Ministy of Finances.
Which you have to try your own best to make sure that you get this clearance paper.than you can now talk about your fund.you are free to contact any body
base on this fund that is coming to you. until than good luck mike
I try to push him to at least send me some manufactured proof.
You haven't given me proof of anything except the fact that you can't spell. Where's your ID? Where is any proof you are who you are? Where is any website or newspaper article that proves the government is paying their debts this way? This is completely ridiculous. You haven't given proof of anything. You're obviously a fraud.
Doggone it. These scammers have no sticktoitiveness these days. That's the last I hear of him for now.
EDIT: 11-13-07 Stop the presses! Mike Ben shows signs of life!
You have to get back to me beacuse there is a good news,your money is there in USA,all you need to do to me to get back to me so that i will give you the information.i wait for your email.
Till than,
Mike.
Oh, I HAVE to, huh? Methinks not. But, I enjoy watching you squirm, so why not?
Well, if it's in the USA, tell me where I can go pick it up. Give me an exact address, and I'll go pick it up.
Personally.
We'll see if Mike Ben provides more fun...
And he does!
November 14, he emails me back.
Good to hear from you,you dont need to worry yourself any more you consignment is there now in USa,
all you have to do is call this number +17329939037 his name is Mr Brown.you have to call him and tell him where to meet you.
I will need you to keep intouch with me and update me too.
untill than good luck.
mike.
I do call, and this appears to be a SkypeIn number. The generic voicemail certainly sounds like it. As he doesn't answer, I just fork over my email address. No point wasting breath if I can't drill the "diplomat" and listen to him squirm.
I email Mike and complain.
I tried calling your Mr. Brown. He wasn't available and it was some impersonal voicemail message with a woman's voice on it. I left him a message to email me.
Here's where they start getting extra sloppy. I mean, honestly, does no one have any pride any more?
I try the number before sending you this email,pls try your best to get Mr Brown on phone tat will help you out on what to do or where to meet him,than he can give you his email,i belive that is okay.
I wait for you reply when you have called Mr Brown
Good day.
Mike Ben.
I complain about the fact that I'm being asked to phone someone to get their email. What's the fecking point?
What's the point of me calling him just to have him give me his email?
Why couldn't he, oh, I don't know, reply to my damned voicemail, where I gave him MY email address, by, you know, email?
What is the point of this little dance?
For that matter, why can't you give him my email if that's all he's going to do, is email me?
I email the "diplomat" and ask for his location.
Where are you currently located? I want to make arrangements to come pick up my consignment.
Mister "diplomat" is not exactly on the ball. I complain. Mike Ben replies.
I still get your email since you said you need the email good of the courrier service You can get him on email diplomats_courrier@yahoo.co.uk
You are free to contact Mr Brown through the email address since you said his number is not working,but i will still like you to give him 2mins call for himto check his email when you have send him email.
all you need to do is email him and send your address where you are or where to meet you.his business is hand you over the consignment only,he dont know what is inside the consignment,we only pay him to move the consignment to you.he is not surpose to be in USA for now,beacuse told me that he will hold on for you untill he give you the consgnment.
untill than good luck.
Mike Ben.
I love how the official "courrier" can't even spell their profession. I also love how the location of the money and the diplomat change with the wind. And really, what's this crap about me phoning someone to tell him to check his email?
I've emailed him to ask his location. And again, why the hell should I PHONE someone to tell him to check his EMAIL?
This is ridiculous. Is the man so unprofessional that he doesn't check his email on a regular basis?
And by the way, why are you telling me now that he is NOT in the United States? Where is my money located? You claimed my money was in the United States. Are you implying that my money is here without anyone to look after it? If so, why did you choose such an incredibly incompetent, unprofessional company to deliver my payment?
The "diplomat" finally gets off his carcass and emails me back.
DIPLOMATIC SECURITY AND SHIPPING COMPANY.
M M INT AIRPORT
NIGERIA
ATTENTION;*baiter*,
WE NEED SOME FORM OF GUARANTEEN OF COMPLIANCE TO ENENABLE US PROCEED THE DELIVERY OF YOUR METAL BOX CONSIGNMENT IN YOUR ABOVE ADDRESS.WE SHALL NOMINATE THE PLACE FOR DELIVERY IN YOUR STATE
CONSEQUENTLY,YOU HAVE AN OUTSTANDING DEBT OF $1200 {ONE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED}DOLLARS,FOR THE CLEARANCE AND DUMURRAGE ACCRUED IN THE STORAG OF YOUR METAL BOX.
YOU SHALL SEND THIS MONDAY TODAY OR NEXT TO ENABLE US MOVE YOUR CONSIGNMENT TO YOUR ADDRESS THAT WAS GIVE TO US BY MR MIKE BEN.
YOU MUST DEFINITELY MAKE THE ABOVE CLEARANCE BEFOR THE METAL BOX ARE DELIVERED TO YOU.
BEST REGARDS
MR BROWN
THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR CONTRACT /INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FUFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT. SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE OFFICIALS IN THE BANK ALL YOUR ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE FUND TO YOU. WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISHES TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM. RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC, THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION FROM MR. PRESIDENT, ALHAJI AMARU YAR'ADUA (GCFR) FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA AND FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE. THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD,BUT THE MAXIMUM IS ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS PER DAY, SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECIEVE YOUR FUND THIS WAY PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING THE CARD PAYMENT CENTER AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION TO HIM IN ORDER HIM TO PROCEED IMMEDIATELY: 1. YOUR FULL NAME 2. YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBER 3. YOUR ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD TO(P.O BOX NOT ACCEPTABLE) 4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION 5. A COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION HOWEVER, KINDLY FIND BELOW THE CONTACT PERSON: REV. DR BENJAMIN MEYER DIRECTOR, ATM PAYMENT DEPARTMENT EMAIL: BENJAMIN_MEYER@MYWAY.COM OFFICE NUMBER+234-1-4794704 THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT $8,300,000.00 AS PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2007. ALSO FOR YOUR INFORMATION, YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMINUCATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S) OR OFFICE(s) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN RECEIVING YOUR ATM PAYMENT. FOR ORAL DISCUSSION, I CAN BE REACHED ON +234-8037915313 OR EMAIL ME BACK AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR FURTHER DIRECTION AND ALSO UPDATE ME ON ANY DEVELOPMENT FROM THE ABOVE MENTIONED OFFICE. NOTE THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (ATM-318) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THE CARD CENTER BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT. BEST REGARDS, MR. MIKE BEN CHIEF AUDITOR TO THE PRESIDENT FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
Gee, that wouldn't take any time at all, what with the ATM limits...
And how would you know who I'm dealing with? And how do I know you're not a fraud? How do I know you're not an impostor?
I get the usual "I just type because I have no idea what's going on" reply.
Thanks very much for your reply,its reads nice because of what is happening here that why you are asking this.Its all okay by me,all i need to know is full contact,so that i can scan every information that you need to know about the Card that is coming to you. You are going to get all the papers from the Ministry of Finance.which you are going to comfirm before you do any thing with us. all you need to do is get us your full name.Your address,and your working phone number. Untill i hear from you good luck. Mike ben.
I'm feeling stubborn.
I repeat my question. How do I know you're not an impostor? Where is any proof? How do I know you're not some fraud with a hotmail account? You're not getting any of my information until I see some sort of proof.
I get the usual "Proof? What proof? You mean a silly fake name and a Hotmail account are not accepted as the height of competence and professional standing where you are?" reply.
What proof are you talking about,i have told you to send your full information,so that i will faward you all the document to you for you to confirm. I have try to let you understand that this not fraud,i know there are alot of fraud in the world now,every body have to be very carefull.but that not my own business,my business is make you understand that this not fraud. I am waiting to hear from you.Good luck. Mike Ben.
I turn up the paranoia.
Proof that you're not just some yahoo with a Hotmail account claiming to the the "chief auditor". Why don't you have a government email address? Where's your ID? Where's any proof that you are who you say you are? Where are any documents that prove you're not just making this story up? It takes more than an email to prove this. Why should I give my information to some complete and total stranger who just emails me out of the blue from a HOTMAIL account, which anyone can sign up for, claiming to work for some foreign government, just because he can type? Saying it in an email does not make it true. And why would you need my information in the first place? You already know my email address? How do you know my email address and how to get hold of me if you don't know I'm the rightful person to get this money, or anything else about me? If you have the information that says I deserve this money, and know my name and how to email me, you should know the rest of my information. WHERE DID YOU GET MY EMAIL ADDRESS? YOU came to ME with this story. The burden of proof is on you. Let's see your proof. If you're really a government employee, you'll have some.
He goes for the "But... but... I have YOUR details!" approach. Or... um... "datails".
Dear you have understand,i have your datails allready,i have to recomfirm it before,so that there will be no mistake. All you need to do is resend the information,so that i will get you all the needed papers.i will wait to hear from you. Mike.
I challenge that assertion. I want to see if he's either one of my bounceback lads, trying to scam me as a new persona/format, or a lad who got sold my information by another lad.
Then, let's see them. Show me MY details that you already have. Just one. Show me just one of them. If you had my details already, you wouldn't need me to send them again. Or, if you have my details, YOU should be willing to share YOUR details. I think you're just a complete liar, frankly. If you were really who you say you are, you would have nothing to hide and you could get me the needed papers with the details you say you already have. I'll wait to hear from you, instead, but I doubt I will. You're obviously just some ninny with a hotmail address and no government job. You don' t have any of my details, you just have a story full of holes. I say again, WHERE IS YOUR ID, "CHIEF AUDITOR"?
Hey, it is either a bounceback lad or a lad who has paid for or stolen "my" details.
I have you information,since you never belive me,i can never do anything base on your own case,look and confirm it,i have to take your own fille away from my office,since you belive i am not real good.all i have to tell you is check your information.but i will help you now on ONE CONDITION. This the information.Your full name is...... *baiter name* .....your address is.....*baiter address*.........your phone is ....*baiter phone*. Now you can know i am not lieing to you,i am only trying to make sure you pick up this fund.if you want to get me on phone You are free to call me on my 002348037915313.I wait for your call. Mike Ben
The name, address and phone are all bogus, obviously, but they are my character's. I'm sure he's expecting me to go all weak in the knees at this. I'm not exactly falling all over myself to believe him. I copy "Benjamin Meyer" on this, too. The "insults" to the country itself are, of course, not reflective of my personal views. But, since I'm playing a half-believing victim here, I think it would be straining credulity if I weren't a little upset at the "government" for failing to pay me "my money".
And that is my correct information. So, why are you still asking for it? You have it. Why should I give it to you again? YOU'VE GOT IT. You've had it for eons, you and your worthless, deadbeat government that never pays what it owes. And where, I ask again, is your identification? I demand identification before I waste my time and money on a phone call. Any government employee should be able to show identification. You're probably some janitor that cleans the offices and just copied down my information from the file, and that's why you're not showing any ID. And why, on earth, Mike Ben and Benjamin Meyer, if those are your real names, which I highly doubt, would you be proposing to pay me using an ATM card? The fricking ATM limits withdrawals. It would take YEARS to get the money I am owed, even if I went to the damned ATM every day! Look, if you are really going to send me an ATM card, send it. Ship it to my address. You have my address. You've had it for months. If you're not a liar, you'll ship it. Even though it makes a helluva lot more sense to, oh, I don't know, WIRE that kind of money to a bank account and sign over the account to me. If you're who you say you are, and you're telling the truth, you'll pay up and stop all this nonsense about confirming my address and my details and all that other ridiculous stuff. If your crummy little country is going to finally pay what it owes, pay me and stop fooling around about it. If not, quit wasting my time.
And here comes the request for money.
I saw your mail,and its reads nice,i amready to help you out get your full,but you have a clearance from the ministy of Fineces,whic is going to cost you a small amount of money before you fund will be transafer to you,in any way you need it . You are advice to reply this email so that i willknow your faith. Mike
Incredulity rears its ugly head.
And what is the Ministry of "Fineces"? Look, you can't be for real. This would be a completely ridiculous way to pay a government debt.
He's sort of giving up at this point... Pity, he's fun.
there is no way i will help when you never trust what i am doing,for the first time you never belive me,now i have given you all the proof that you needed to know. I want to help you get your fund,but we have get a clearance from the Ministy of Finances.
Which you have to try your own best to make sure that you get this clearance paper.than you can now talk about your fund.you are free to contact any body
base on this fund that is coming to you. until than good luck mike
I try to push him to at least send me some manufactured proof.
You haven't given me proof of anything except the fact that you can't spell. Where's your ID? Where is any proof you are who you are? Where is any website or newspaper article that proves the government is paying their debts this way? This is completely ridiculous. You haven't given proof of anything. You're obviously a fraud.
Doggone it. These scammers have no sticktoitiveness these days. That's the last I hear of him for now.
EDIT: 11-13-07 Stop the presses! Mike Ben shows signs of life!
You have to get back to me beacuse there is a good news,your money is there in USA,all you need to do to me to get back to me so that i will give you the information.i wait for your email.
Till than,
Mike.
Oh, I HAVE to, huh? Methinks not. But, I enjoy watching you squirm, so why not?
Well, if it's in the USA, tell me where I can go pick it up. Give me an exact address, and I'll go pick it up.
Personally.
We'll see if Mike Ben provides more fun...
And he does!
November 14, he emails me back.
Good to hear from you,you dont need to worry yourself any more you consignment is there now in USa,
all you have to do is call this number +17329939037 his name is Mr Brown.you have to call him and tell him where to meet you.
I will need you to keep intouch with me and update me too.
untill than good luck.
mike.
I do call, and this appears to be a SkypeIn number. The generic voicemail certainly sounds like it. As he doesn't answer, I just fork over my email address. No point wasting breath if I can't drill the "diplomat" and listen to him squirm.
I email Mike and complain.
I tried calling your Mr. Brown. He wasn't available and it was some impersonal voicemail message with a woman's voice on it. I left him a message to email me.
Here's where they start getting extra sloppy. I mean, honestly, does no one have any pride any more?
I try the number before sending you this email,pls try your best to get Mr Brown on phone tat will help you out on what to do or where to meet him,than he can give you his email,i belive that is okay.
I wait for you reply when you have called Mr Brown
Good day.
Mike Ben.
I complain about the fact that I'm being asked to phone someone to get their email. What's the fecking point?
What's the point of me calling him just to have him give me his email?
Why couldn't he, oh, I don't know, reply to my damned voicemail, where I gave him MY email address, by, you know, email?
What is the point of this little dance?
For that matter, why can't you give him my email if that's all he's going to do, is email me?
I email the "diplomat" and ask for his location.
Where are you currently located? I want to make arrangements to come pick up my consignment.
Mister "diplomat" is not exactly on the ball. I complain. Mike Ben replies.
I still get your email since you said you need the email good of the courrier service You can get him on email diplomats_courrier@yahoo.co.uk
You are free to contact Mr Brown through the email address since you said his number is not working,but i will still like you to give him 2mins call for himto check his email when you have send him email.
all you need to do is email him and send your address where you are or where to meet you.his business is hand you over the consignment only,he dont know what is inside the consignment,we only pay him to move the consignment to you.he is not surpose to be in USA for now,beacuse told me that he will hold on for you untill he give you the consgnment.
untill than good luck.
Mike Ben.
I love how the official "courrier" can't even spell their profession. I also love how the location of the money and the diplomat change with the wind. And really, what's this crap about me phoning someone to tell him to check his email?
I've emailed him to ask his location. And again, why the hell should I PHONE someone to tell him to check his EMAIL?
This is ridiculous. Is the man so unprofessional that he doesn't check his email on a regular basis?
And by the way, why are you telling me now that he is NOT in the United States? Where is my money located? You claimed my money was in the United States. Are you implying that my money is here without anyone to look after it? If so, why did you choose such an incredibly incompetent, unprofessional company to deliver my payment?
The "diplomat" finally gets off his carcass and emails me back.
DIPLOMATIC SECURITY AND SHIPPING COMPANY.
ATTENTION;*baiter*,
WE NEED SOME FORM OF GUARANTEEN OF COMPLIANCE TO ENENABLE US PROCEED THE DELIVERY OF YOUR METAL BOX CONSIGNMENT IN YOUR ABOVE ADDRESS.WE SHALL NOMINATE THE PLACE FOR DELIVERY IN YOUR STATE
CONSEQUENTLY,YOU HAVE AN OUTSTANDING DEBT OF $1200 {ONE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED}DOLLARS,FOR THE CLEARANCE AND DUMURRAGE ACCRUED IN THE STORAG OF YOUR METAL BOX.
YOU SHALL SEND THIS MONDAY TODAY OR NEXT TO ENABLE US MOVE YOUR CONSIGNMENT TO YOUR ADDRESS THAT WAS GIVE TO US BY MR MIKE BEN.
YOU MUST DEFINITELY MAKE THE ABOVE CLEARANCE BEFOR THE METAL BOX ARE DELIVERED TO YOU.
BEST REGARDS
MR BROWN
+17329939037
156 TAIBOT RD,WEST WINFIELD,NEW YORK 13491.
Now, me being curious, I google the address, expecting to find, oh, an office building, or say, a non-existent address. What do I find?
A goat farm.
Yes.
A.
Goat.
Farm.
This is too good not to mention.
WE NEED SOME FORM OF GUARANTEEN OF COMPLIANCE TO ENENABLE US PROCEED THE DELIVERY OF YOUR METAL BOX CONSIGNMENT IN YOUR ABOVE ADDRESS.
WHAT above address? The airport in Nigeria? Look, I've been told by Mike Ben that my money is in the USA. Which is it? Why the hell would you take my money from the United States back to Nigeria?
No. You will tell me where my damned money is located and I will come pick it up. In person. There is going to be no more of this "deliver it to your door" nonsense.
I'll pay it in person, in freaking cash if I have to, if you can actually give me a spot to pick up the boxes.
Frankly, I think you're either so incompetent you can't find your own backside or you and Mike Ben are completely full of it, but go ahead. Prove me wrong. Tell me where I can come get my trunk boxes. In the United States. I'll save you the trip to my house.
Don't move my damned money anywhere. I was told, by Mike Ben, that my money is currently in the United States. Tell me where, and I will come get it.
I think you mean "Talbot Road". There is no "Taibot Road".
So, tell me, do you LIVE at the goat farm, or do you just keep an office there?
http://www.skylandfarmboergoats.com/Pages/Sales/GoatsForSale.asp
Now, me being curious, I google the address, expecting to find, oh, an office building, or say, a non-existent address. What do I find?
A goat farm.
Yes.
A.
Goat.
Farm.
This is too good not to mention.
WE NEED SOME FORM OF GUARANTEEN OF COMPLIANCE TO ENENABLE US PROCEED THE DELIVERY OF YOUR METAL BOX CONSIGNMENT IN YOUR ABOVE ADDRESS.
WHAT above address? The airport in Nigeria? Look, I've been told by Mike Ben that my money is in the USA. Which is it? Why the hell would you take my money from the United States back to Nigeria?
WE SHALL NOMINATE THE PLACE FOR DELIVERY IN YOUR STATE
No. You will tell me where my damned money is located and I will come pick it up. In person. There is going to be no more of this "deliver it to your door" nonsense.
CONSEQUENTLY,YOU HAVE AN OUTSTANDING DEBT OF $1200 {ONE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED}DOLLARS,FOR THE CLEARANCE AND DUMURRAGE ACCRUED IN THE STORAG OF YOUR METAL BOX.
I'll pay it in person, in freaking cash if I have to, if you can actually give me a spot to pick up the boxes.
Frankly, I think you're either so incompetent you can't find your own backside or you and Mike Ben are completely full of it, but go ahead. Prove me wrong. Tell me where I can come get my trunk boxes. In the United States. I'll save you the trip to my house.
YOU SHALL SEND THIS MONDAY TODAY OR NEXT TO ENABLE US MOVE YOUR CONSIGNMENT TO YOUR ADDRESS THAT WAS GIVE TO US BY MR MIKE BEN.
Don't move my damned money anywhere. I was told, by Mike Ben, that my money is currently in the United States. Tell me where, and I will come get it.
YOU MUST DEFINITELY MAKE THE ABOVE CLEARANCE BEFOR THE METAL BOX ARE DELIVERED TO YOU.
BEST REGARDS
MR BROWN+17329939037156 TAIBOT RD,WEST WINFIELD,NEW YORK 13491.
So, tell me, do you LIVE at the goat farm, or do you just keep an office there?
http://www.skylandfarmboergoats
posted by The Straight Bait at 6:19 AM
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