John Rice Bello wants my investment advice!

I truly haven't the foggiest idea where this lad was going with this. My only guess is either a fake check or misuse of the victim's bank account, but this definitely qualifies as a weird scam approach.

Sir,

Brief introduction of my self,my names are JOHN RICE BELLO and i got your contact from the net, and i need a honest and understanding fellow to invest with hence my contact.

Please reaffirm your honesty and sincere understanding by replying to this message as soon as posible if intrest you for an investment in your country.

Note,as i recieve your responce to this message, i will swiftly send to you other important details for your study and i will also send to you my telephone numbers.

Hope to do business with you in the near future.

Sincerely yours,
John Rice.

Oh, what the heck.

Sir,

Brief introduction of my self,my names are JOHN RICE BELLO and i got your contact from the net, and i need a honest and understanding fellow to invest with hence my contact.



Then you're barking up the wrong tree, because I am a woman. In other words, not a sir, not a fellow. And what would you be wanting to invest in?


Please reaffirm your honesty and sincere understanding by replying to this message as soon as posible if intrest you for an investment in your country.



Why my country? What's so attractive about investing in my country?


Note,as i recieve your responce to this message, i will swiftly send to you other important details for your study and i will also send to you my telephone numbers.

Hope to do business with you in the near future.

Sincerely yours,
John Rice.

That's fine and all, but why would you email me about investing?

John commends my keen observational skills in noticing that I'm a woman.

Madam Baiter Name,

Thanks for your observations,but if God says you are the person that i will invest with no name on earth can stop us doing things together for good.

Please can you give me the go ahead to send you my proposal?

Being a woman does it realy matter,who says i can not do business with a woman of course they are more honest than men quote me any day.

I email you as directed by my mind during my search on the net on who i could do business with.

Awaits your responce.

John Rice.

Who is to say he can't steal from a woman just as well...

Okay, let's see where this goes.

Please can you give me the go ahead to send you my proposal?



Okay. Sure.

I am sent a proposal. Lovely! It's copied and pasted directly into an email.

Dear Ms Baiter;
Sudject to my telephone conversation with you below is the text of my propose contract for your perusal,study and get back to me. This Partnership is made this day of .........-2006 between (Dr John Rice) the Financier, of the one part, And Ms Baiter Name..., (agent) of the other part.
WHEREAS:
The financier is desirous to invest the total sum of 300 million USD in two installment and the agent has agreed to use his expertise, prudence and judgment to aid facilitate investment of the financiers said capital in any viable business opportunity (economic sector) in and around the world,
IT IS HEREBY AGREED AS FOLLOWS;
1,The financier shall make available the aforesaid sum of 300 million USD to the agent for investment in viable business opportunities around the world and such investment shall be in the name that will be agree by both parties,
2,The agent shall employ his discretion, utmost expertise, prudence and sound business judgment in undertaking such investment on behalf of the financier, the agent shall identify the nature of business, make a feasibility study disclosing the projected cost and revenue accruable from such ventures to the financier, before undertaking such investment.
3, The agent shall indemnify the financier for any loss occasioned by his negligence in undertaking any investment,
4, In the course of his ordinary business endeavors, the agent shall employ and pay staff salaries, procure all licenses, permits, enter lease and open bank account necessary for the smooth operation of the financiers investment.
5, The agent shall within every six mouths render account financial and otherwise, of his operations to the financier.
6, In consideration of the agent efforts, the financier shall pay the agent 10% of every amount successfully invested in any venture, and the agent shall be entitled to 15% equity in every one of the financiers business founded and developed by the agent.
7. Without prejudice to clause (6) above, the agent shall additionally be entitled to receive as remuneration 10% of the financiers said capital.
8. Each party to this agreement shall be entitled to give the other a three months notice of intention to dissolve this partnership.
9. In event of dissolution of this partnership the agent shall be bound to sell his equity to the financier
10.In the event of a dispute, same shall be subject to arbitration on terms agreed by the parties.
Pleases study and revert back to me.
Yours Faithfully
JOHN RICE.

NB Pls endevour to send me your telephone number so that we can talk.

Spelling and formatting a bit sloppy, good use of jargon, nice beat but you can't quite dance to it, I give it a 7.

And this one, like many of my lads, lately, appears to be imagining phone conversations I didn't have. It's like self-baiting lads. You don't even have to call them any more!

Let's act nice and confused. Won't be hard, because I really am.

Sudject to my telephone conversation with you



What phone conversation? I haven't talked to you on the phone.

below is the text of my propose contract for your perusal,study and get back to me. This Partnership is made this day of .........-2006 between (Dr John Rice) the Financier, of the one part, And Ms Baiter Name ..., (agent) of the other part.
WHEREAS:
The financier is desirous to invest the total sum of 300 million USD in two installment and the agent has agreed to use his expertise, prudence and judgment to aid facilitate investment of the financiers said capital in any viable business opportunity (economic sector) in and around the world,
IT IS HEREBY AGREED AS FOLLOWS;
1,The financier shall make available the aforesaid sum of 300 million USD to the agent for investment in viable business opportunities around the world and such investment shall be in the name that will be agree by both parties,
2,The agent shall employ his discretion, utmost expertise, prudence and sound business judgment in undertaking such investment on behalf of the financier, the agent shall identify the nature of business, make a feasibility study disclosing the projected cost and revenue accruable from such ventures to the financier, before undertaking such investment.
3, The agent shall indemnify the financier for any loss occasioned by his negligence in undertaking any investment,



Then I shall put it all into twelve month CDs and government bonds. They're safe as houses. No risk of loss.



4, In the course of his ordinary business endeavors, the agent shall employ and pay staff salaries, procure all licenses, permits, enter lease and open bank account necessary for the smooth operation of the financiers investment.



What staff? You didn't say anything about directing any staff.

5, The agent shall within every six mouths render account financial and otherwise, of his operations to the financier.



His? I'm female.

6, In consideration of the agent efforts, the financier shall pay the agent 10% of every amount successfully invested in any venture, and the agent shall be entitled to 15% equity in every one of the financiers business founded and developed by the agent.

7. Without prejudice to clause (6) above, the agent shall additionally be entitled to receive as remuneration 10% of the financiers said capital.
8. Each party to this agreement shall be entitled to give the other a three months notice of intention to dissolve this partnership.
9. In event of dissolution of this partnership the agent shall be bound to sell his equity to the financier
10.In the event of a dispute, same shall be subject to arbitration on terms agreed by the parties.
Pleases study and revert back to me.
Yours Faithfully
JOHN RICE.

NB Pls endevour to send me your telephone number so that we can talk.



You send me yours and I'll call you, if need be.

Apparently, he got impatient and noodged me two days before I replied.

Please comfirm to me through this email address the receipt of the proposal/memorandum of understanding i sent to you earlier on the 23/07/2006.

Note,all correspondence as regards this transaction copy be sent to this email address for refference .

Best regard,

John Rice.

Despite the fact that I have, literally, just done so, I act cranky that he reminded me. Maybe it was the fact that he emailed me three times?

I already replied to the agreement itself.

Are you always this impatient?

As always, the poor secretary gets blamed.

Dear Baiter,
am sorry that was a mistake from my secretary, pls furnish me with your phone number i need to speek with you;
Regards
Dr Rice
tel 00447742939371

I use one of my usual excuses, because I'm still, at that point, waiting on my SkypeIn number.

Look, man, I work swing shifts. I turn my phone off when I sleep. You need to speak to me on the phone, you can give me your phone number and I will call YOU.

Besides, what do you have to say on the phone that you can't write in email?

Or is that your number there with the "tel" in front of it? When would be convenient for me to call? Is that an office or a mobile, or what?

He gets right back to me on that. He's a keeper.

Dear
Cal me on my number 00447742939371.
Regards
Dr Rice

I decide to spring for a phone call. We have the typical "I am pushy and demanding, the lad is totally clueless and hardly seems to know what scam he is running" conversation. He can't even decide whether he wants me to email my phone number or tell him over the phone.

I especially love turning around the "Can you handle this transaction?" question and slapping the lad upside the head when they get all "cute" and try to refer to women as "my dear". I HATE that.

http://members.419eater.com/~mrsbean/JohnRiceBello1.mp3

By the way, that is not quite my real voice/accent. I'm normally way more chipmunk-y and drawly, I'm betting.

I send him my number, as agreed, in email.

Two days later, he emails. Asking for my number. *facepalm*

Iam waiting for your number as discuss.
Regards
Dr Rice

I slap a bit.

I sent you the number on August 1st! Did you already manage to lose it?

I also included my number. Again.

Wait patiently five days. No sign that he's tried to phone.

Nag.

Well, are you ever going to get off your behind and call me or what?

I wait nearly a month, then goad again.

I knew you weren't a serious businessman. All that business about needing my phone number so you could call was just to cover up the fact that you don't really have any money to invest, wasn't it?

The dear finally gets off his duff and at least emails.

Hello Baitername,
I tried your telephone number severally to reach you but all was unsucessful,so i decided to rest myself and again you know i am too busy and do not have time to waist.thank you for your coment about me.
John Rice.

I goad him a bit more.

If you're too daft to even make an international phone call to Hong Kong, and too lazy to bother emailing me, you're not busy, you're too thick to do busines with. That, or you never had any money to invest. If a man can't even spell or capitalize things properly, I figure he can't possibly have any money to invest.

Do me a favor and never contact me again.

Nothing back from him just yet, but John Rice Bello, for a man with millions to invest, seems very slow, mentally.

Not an overly long bait, but still, a bit of time wasted for this scammer. I would still love to know just how this supposedly worked, but the lazy lad would never call me at a decent hour! Some unknown number appears to have called me several times in the wee hours, but left no voicemail. Was it John Rice Bello? We may never know...

Sometimes, I just have a wee bit of fun playing dense and honest. For some reason, my baiting address has gotten very popular with "overdue contract" scammers of late.

Sometimes being dense and honest with them results in a funny exchange, especially if they're desperate. Sometimes, it's just the thought of the scammer reading my response and scratching their head over how to respond that makes me laugh.

The name on this one helped. He's... Dr. Dagogo! The subject is intriguing, too.

PAYMENT UPDATE US$8.6M

That will grab your attention.

Dear. Baiter Name,

I am Dr.Isa Dagogo, General Administrator Telex and Wire Department of Central Bank of Nigeria. I have urgent information for you, which will be very vital to you. My colleagues in the Central Bank of Nigeria and in other Ministries that are in charge of transferring money, has conspired to release your fund into another account claiming that you are the one who ask them to release your fund into this account in South Africa. I have been approached, as the General Administrator Telex and Wire Department of this bank to endorse on this stated below bank account to enable your fund be transfered. Please confirm to me if you are the owner of this account.

BANK: FIRST NATIONAL BANK,
ALABERT STREET DURBAN
BRANCH CODE: 331420
ACCOUNT NO: 61053229038
BENEFICIARY: MR. T. J. ZWANE

As a matter of fact, ALHAJI M. R. RASHEED, MR. ERNEST EBI, and their Associate in the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) (C.B.N) have advised me to release your fund into the above account. Hence I decided to contact you to know if you actually ask them to do so.

This fund will be transferred to this above bank account before 14th of July as soon as I endorse and give instruction to our Clearing House to remit the fund if you are not aware of this transfer or did not instructed anybody to transfer your fund into the bank account, reconfirm your banking and contract details to me to enable me give advice to our Clearing House to release your fund and make sure you call me on the above telephone numbers to confirm if I have received your banking and contract details.

Please, this information I am giving you is a great risk on my side, so you have to keep this very confidential, as I am ready to assist you get your fund released to your account.
Your prompt response to this mail will expedite the release of your over due payment.

Yours faithfully,

Dr.Isa Dagogo Direcetor,Telex & Wire Dept (Central Bank of Nigeria)
+234-8033801296

Okay, I couldn't resist tweaking him a little. Okay, a lot.

I am Dr.Isa Dagogo, General Administrator Telex and Wire Department of Central Bank of Nigeria. I have urgent information for you, which will be very vital to you. My colleagues in the Central Bank of Nigeria and in other Ministries that are in charge of transferring money, has conspired to release your fund into another account claiming that you are the one who ask them to release your fund into this account in South Africa.



What fund?

I have been approached, as the General Administrator Telex and Wire Department of this bank to endorse on this stated below bank account to enable your fund be transfered. Please confirm to me if you are the owner of this account.

BANK: FIRST NATIONAL BANK,
ALABERT STREET DURBAN
BRANCH CODE: 331420
ACCOUNT NO: 61053229038
BENEFICIARY: MR. T. J. ZWANE



Nope.

As a matter of fact, ALHAJI M. R. RASHEED, MR. ERNEST EBI, and their Associate in the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) (C.B.N) have advised me to release your fund into the above account. Hence I decided to contact you to know if you actually ask them to do so.



Never heard of them. But what fund are you talking about?


This fund will be transferred to this above bank account before 14th of July as soon as I endorse and give instruction to our Clearing House to remit the fund if you are not aware of this transfer or did not instructed anybody to transfer your fund into the bank account, reconfirm your banking and contract details to me


Why should I give my bank account to you when I don't know YOU from Adam either? And explain what fund you're talking about.



to enable me give advice to our Clearing House to release your fund and make sure you call me on the above telephone numbers to confirm if I have received your banking and contract details.



What phone number above? I don't see any phone numbers above.


Please, this information I am giving you is a great risk on my side,



Why would it be risky for you to DO YOUR JOB AND SEE THAT THE RIGHT PERSON GETS A LARGE MONEY TRANSFER?

so you have to keep this very confidential,



Confidential from who?


as I am ready to assist you get your fund released to your account.



What fund and what account?


Your prompt response to this mail will expedite the release of your over due payment.

Yours faithfully,

Dr.Isa Dagogo Direcetor,Telex & Wire Dept (Central Bank of Nigeria)
+234-8033801296



Is that supposed to be your number?

Why is your email addres Ayingo Vess when your name is supposed to be Doctor Agogo or whatever?

He never wrote back. I guess the lad didn't know what to do if I attempted to get him off script.

Or maybe he just went out to boogie the night away as Dr. A-Go-Go.

I hate it when a webhost is shown pretty good evidence that a domain is being used in a scam, yet they won't shut it down. Therefore, I'll just publicly out said domain and said host here, instead.

I get a rather elaborate approach mail from "Barrister Willam Beckham".

Scammer language in blue.

FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA

MINISTRY OF JUSTICE

LEGAL DEPARTMENT/AUTHENTICATION UNIT

SAKAR TINUBU-VICTORIA ISLAND – LAGOS.

Auto control number: 234-1-7753763

E-mail: FGN_ministry_justice2@mmail.com

E-mail: contact@StevenThomassonChambers.com

Date: 14/06/06



LETTER OF CONFIRMATION

TO; Baiter Name



ON THIS DAY, WEDNESDAY, 14/06/06, WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF A POWER OF ATTORNEY ISSUED BY YOU ON YOUR OUTSTANDING FUNDS, WHICH WAS SUBMITTED TO US BY THE DEBT SETTLEMENT UNIT AS THEY ARE THE ONLY BODY TO LOOK INTO ON PAID BILLS WHICH WHERE OWED TO ALL OUR NUMEROUS BENEFICIARY,

THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WHICH YOU SUBMITTED REQUESTING THE ABOVE MENTIONED OFFICE TO MAKE THE CHANGES ON YOUR PAYMENT INFORMATION IN FAVOR OF ONE OF YOUR DIRECTORS (MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) WHOM HIS PICTURE IS ATTACHED ON THIS MESSAGE TO MAKE CLAIM ON YOUR OUTSTANDING PAYMENT WITH THE BANK, BASE ON YOUR DECLARATION ON THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WHICH WE RECEIVED BELOW ARE THE FOLLOWING POINT.



1) ALL THE TRANSACTION DOCUMENTS SHOULD BE CHANGED IN FAVOR OF MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,)



2) MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) IS BEEN RECOGNIZED BY YOU AS YOUR COMPANIES’ MANAGER WHICH IS FROM PERU.



3) THE PAYMENT OF THIS TRANSACTION’S SHOULD BE REMITTED TO MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) HIS BANK ACCOUNT IN PERU, WHICH ACCOUNT NO: 90-38-003 OF BANQUET CANTO-NALE AT VAUDOSIE IN PERU ACCOUNT NAME HELOU PIERMATTEL CHAMBERS.



4) WE ARE INFORMED THAT THIS SUDDEN DEVELOPMENT WAS DUE TO YOUR ILLNESS AS YOUR PERSONAL PHYSICIAN HAS INFORMED YOU THAT YOU HAVE ONLY 30 DAYS TO LIVE. BECAUSE OF THIS REASON, YOU PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED TO SHARE YOUR ASSETS THE ABOVE MENTIONED NAME IS NOW ENTITLED TO CLAIM YOUR CONSIGNED FUNDS UNDER THIS NEW DISPENSATION.



BASE ON YOUR REQUEST, UNDER SUB SECTION 9 A-C, ARTICLE 5, SECTION 2 OF THE LEGAL PROVISION ON EVERY OUTSTANDING BILLS OF 1986, THE NEW BENEFICIARY AND BANK CO-ORDINATES WHICH YOU SUBMITTED, ALL PROCESS TO COMMENCE THE CHANGES OF RIGHT OF FUNDS IN FAVOUR OF YOUR MANAGER HAS BEEN IN PROCESS AS SOON AS WE ARE DONE WITH ALL NECESSARY CHARGES AS REQUESTED BY YOU WE WILL THEN ADVICE THE BANK TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER AS REQUESTED. BY YOU.



BE INFORMED THAT THE AUTHENTICATION OF YOUR FILE WILL BE COMMENCE IN FEW DAYS FROM NOW AS SOON AS THAT IS DONE, THE BANK WILL BE SENDING TO YOU THE TRANSFER CONFIRMATION OF THE FUNDS AS YOU REQUESTED IN YOUR POWER OF ATTORNEY, AN INSTRUCTION WILL BE GIVEN TO OUR CORRESPONDING BANK FOR THE IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF THE PAYMENT TO YOUR MANAGER WHO IS THE ONLY LEGAL PERSON TO RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS BASE ON YOUR SUBMISSION



AS SOON AS WE MAKE THE CONFIRMED OF THE PAYMENT OF THE REVALIDATION WHICH WERE MADE TODAY BY YOUR MANAGER, AS SOON AS THE PROCESS IS COMPLETED WITHIN 48HOURS WE WILL BE SENDING TO HIM THE PAYMENT REMITTANCE INFORMATION’S AS YOU REQUESTED ON YOUR LETTER



WE WILL ALSO MAKE SURE THAT THE IRREVOCABLE TRANSFER BOND WILL BE RELEASE TO THE RECEIVING BANK, TO GUARANTEE THAT THERE WILL NOT BE ANY INTERFERENCE AS THE AFFECTED TRANSACTION HAS OUR MANDATE.



FINALLY, ON BEHALF OF THIS ORGANIZATION, WE SYMPATHIES WITH YOU ON YOUR PRESENT ILLNESS..



THE ATTACHED FILES IS A COPY OF THE INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OF YOUR MANAGER WHICH YOU PRESENTATED.





Yours faithfully,



SOLICITOR Williams BECKAMAN (SAN)

HEAD OF LEGAL DEPARTMENT

www.mmail.com is yet another free webmail provider, and www.StevenThomassonChambers.com is a placeholder page on a scammer registered domain.

Considering Netfirms has its logo, name and links splashed all over the placeholder page, I think it's a safe bet to say this is hosted by Netfirms.

I presume this is a scammer who either tried me before and got nowhere, or a scammer who "bought" my information from another scammer and is trying to "continue"' a scam.

I first reply to the scammer.

ON THIS DAY, WEDNESDAY, 14/06/06, WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF A POWER OF ATTORNEY ISSUED BY YOU ON YOUR OUTSTANDING FUNDS, WHICH WAS SUBMITTED TO US BY THE DEBT SETTLEMENT UNIT AS THEY ARE THE ONLY BODY TO LOOK INTO ON PAID BILLS WHICH WHERE OWED TO ALL OUR NUMEROUS BENEFICIARY,



I don't have any "unpaid funds", and I certainly didn't issue a power of attorney.


THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WHICH YOU SUBMITTED



I didn't submit one.

REQUESTING THE ABOVE MENTIONED OFFICE TO MAKE THE CHANGES ON YOUR PAYMENT INFORMATION IN FAVOR OF ONE OF YOUR DIRECTORS (MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,)


I don't have any "directors", either. I don't even have a company, and I've never heard of that person.



WHOM HIS PICTURE IS ATTACHED



No it's not. There's no picture here.


ON THIS MESSAGE TO MAKE CLAIM ON YOUR OUTSTANDING PAYMENT WITH THE BANK, BASE ON YOUR DECLARATION ON THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WHICH WE RECEIVED BELOW ARE THE FOLLOWING POINT.



I don't have a payment at the bank, and I don't have any power of attorney, either, so where are you getting this crap?


1) ALL THE TRANSACTION DOCUMENTS SHOULD BE CHANGED IN FAVOR OF MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,)



Whatever. I have no idea who the fuck that is.


2) MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) IS BEEN RECOGNIZED BY YOU AS YOUR COMPANIES' MANAGER WHICH IS FROM PERU.



I don't have a company, and I don't know anyone from Peru.


3) THE PAYMENT OF THIS TRANSACTION'S SHOULD BE REMITTED TO MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) HIS BANK ACCOUNT IN PERU, WHICH ACCOUNT NO: 90-38-003 OF BANQUET CANTO-NALE AT VAUDOSIE IN PERU ACCOUNT NAME HELOU PIERMATTEL CHAMBERS.



Whatever. Isn't my money. Why are you giving out the bank account number of some guy I don't know in email. Isn't that reckless of you? What if I stole his money from his account or something.

4) WE ARE INFORMED THAT THIS SUDDEN DEVELOPMENT WAS DUE TO YOUR ILLNESS AS YOUR PERSONAL PHYSICIAN HAS INFORMED YOU THAT YOU HAVE ONLY 30 DAYS TO LIVE.



You've heard something I haven't then. I'm fit as a fiddle, I'm not ill, and my doctor certainly hasn't told me I only have 30 days to live.


BECAUSE OF THIS REASON, YOU PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED TO SHARE YOUR ASSETS THE ABOVE MENTIONED NAME IS NOW ENTITLED TO CLAIM YOUR CONSIGNED FUNDS UNDER THIS NEW DISPENSATION.



What consigned funds? I don't have any consigned funds.


BASE ON YOUR REQUEST, UNDER SUB SECTION 9 A-C, ARTICLE 5, SECTION 2 OF THE LEGAL PROVISION ON EVERY OUTSTANDING BILLS OF 1986, THE NEW BENEFICIARY AND BANK CO-ORDINATES WHICH YOU SUBMITTED, ALL PROCESS TO COMMENCE THE CHANGES OF RIGHT OF FUNDS IN FAVOUR OF YOUR MANAGER HAS BEEN IN PROCESS AS SOON AS WE ARE DONE WITH ALL NECESSARY CHARGES AS REQUESTED BY YOU WE WILL THEN ADVICE THE BANK TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER AS REQUESTED. BY YOU.



I haven't requested shit. You've got the wrong person, surely.


BE INFORMED THAT THE AUTHENTICATION OF YOUR FILE WILL BE COMMENCE IN FEW DAYS FROM NOW AS SOON AS THAT IS DONE, THE BANK WILL BE SENDING TO YOU THE TRANSFER CONFIRMATION OF THE FUNDS AS YOU REQUESTED IN YOUR POWER OF ATTORNEY, AN INSTRUCTION WILL BE GIVEN TO OUR CORRESPONDING BANK FOR THE IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF THE PAYMENT TO YOUR MANAGER WHO IS THE ONLY LEGAL PERSON TO RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS BASE ON YOUR SUBMISSION



I don't have a manager.


AS SOON AS WE MAKE THE CONFIRMED OF THE PAYMENT OF THE REVALIDATION WHICH WERE MADE TODAY BY YOUR MANAGER, AS SOON AS THE PROCESS IS COMPLETED WITHIN 48HOURS WE WILL BE SENDING TO HIM THE PAYMENT REMITTANCE INFORMATION'S AS YOU REQUESTED ON YOUR LETTER


Again, I didn't send a letter, I don't have a manager.

WE WILL ALSO MAKE SURE THAT THE IRREVOCABLE TRANSFER BOND WILL BE RELEASE TO THE RECEIVING BANK, TO GUARANTEE THAT THERE WILL NOT BE ANY INTERFERENCE AS THE AFFECTED TRANSACTION HAS OUR MANDATE.



FINALLY, ON BEHALF OF THIS ORGANIZATION, WE SYMPATHIES WITH YOU ON YOUR PRESENT ILLNESS..



Dude, I'm not dying. Not any faster than anyone else, anyway. I don't even have the sniffles.


THE ATTACHED FILES IS A COPY OF THE INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OF YOUR MANAGER WHICH YOU PRESENTATED.



No, you didn't attach anything. And no, I don't have a manager, and I didn't send you anyone's passport.


Yours faithfully,



SOLICITOR Williams BECKAMAN (SAN)

HEAD OF LEGAL DEPARTMENT




I think you need to go back and check your files or something. You've got the wrong person.
--

Poor lad, I'm sure he thought I was going to leap right in and steal this dying person's money. Instead, I'm flummoxed and honest.

I also forward, with full headers, the scam mail, to abuse@netfirms.com.

The following domain, www.steventhomassonchambers.com, seems to be in use by a 419/advance fee scammer. I received the following piece of spam from this person.

Here are the full headers, followed by the message.

X-Gmail-Received: 2cb5b58f3a954e255129ca181f9e7e211daccb70
Delivered-To: baiter address removed
Received: by 10.70.71.10 with SMTP id t10cs123514wxa;

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 09:09:56 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by 10.35.95.12 with SMTP id x12mr1270116pyl;
Wed, 14 Jun 2006 09:09:56 -0700 (PDT)
Return-Path: <
contact@steventhomassonchambers.com>
Received: from qmail-wm-norm-0.netfirms.com (231-mail.netfirms.com [
66.244.250.231])
by mx.gmail.com with SMTP id i64si1004345pye.2006.06.14.09.09.56;
Wed, 14 Jun 2006 09:09:56 -0700 (PDT)
Received-SPF: neutral (
gmail.com: 66.244.250.231 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of contact@steventhomassonchambers.com
)
Received: (qmail 44053 invoked from network); 14 Jun 2006 16:09:56 -0000
Received: from unknown (10.8.7.1)
by 0 with QMQP; 14 Jun 2006 16:09:56 -0000
Received: from
63.146.104.148
(SquirrelMail authenticated user
contact@steventhomassonchambers.com)
by wm1 with HTTP;
Wed, 14 Jun 2006 12:09:53 -0400 (EDT)

Message-ID: <28429.63.146.104.148.1150301393.squirrel@wm1>
Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2006 12:09:53 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: LETTER OF CONFIRMATION
From: contact@steventhomassonchambers.com

To: trina.perkins@gmail.com
User-Agent: SquirrelMail/1.4.4
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/html;charset=iso-8859-1
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
X-Priority: 3 (Normal)

Importance: Normal

- Show quoted text -


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: contact@steventhomassonchambers.com
Date: Jun 14, 2006 12:09 PM
Subject: LETTER OF CONFIRMATION
To: baiter address removed

- Show quoted text -



FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA

MINISTRY OF JUSTICE

LEGAL DEPARTMENT/AUTHENTICATION UNIT

SAKAR TINUBU-VICTORIA ISLAND – LAGOS.

Auto control number: 234-1-7753763

E-mail: FGN_ministry_justice2@mmail.com

E-mail: contact@StevenThomassonChambers.com

Date: 14/06/06



LETTER OF CONFIRMATION

TO; Baiter Name



ON THIS DAY, WEDNESDAY, 14/06/06, WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF A POWER OF ATTORNEY ISSUED BY YOU ON YOUR OUTSTANDING FUNDS, WHICH WAS SUBMITTED TO US BY THE DEBT SETTLEMENT UNIT AS THEY ARE THE ONLY BODY TO LOOK INTO ON PAID BILLS WHICH WHERE OWED TO ALL OUR NUMEROUS BENEFICIARY,

THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WHICH YOU SUBMITTED REQUESTING THE ABOVE MENTIONED OFFICE TO MAKE THE CHANGES ON YOUR PAYMENT INFORMATION IN FAVOR OF ONE OF YOUR DIRECTORS (MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) WHOM HIS PICTURE IS ATTACHED ON THIS MESSAGE TO MAKE CLAIM ON YOUR OUTSTANDING PAYMENT WITH THE BANK, BASE ON YOUR DECLARATION ON THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WHICH WE RECEIVED BELOW ARE THE FOLLOWING POINT.



1) ALL THE TRANSACTION DOCUMENTS SHOULD BE CHANGED IN FAVOR OF MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,)



2) MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) IS BEEN RECOGNIZED BY YOU AS YOUR COMPANIES' MANAGER WHICH IS FROM PERU.



3) THE PAYMENT OF THIS TRANSACTION'S SHOULD BE REMITTED TO MR. HELOU PIERMATTEL MANUEL SALIM,) HIS BANK ACCOUNT IN PERU, WHICH ACCOUNT NO: 90-38-003 OF BANQUET CANTO-NALE AT VAUDOSIE IN PERU ACCOUNT NAME HELOU PIERMATTEL CHAMBERS.



4) WE ARE INFORMED THAT THIS SUDDEN DEVELOPMENT WAS DUE TO YOUR ILLNESS AS YOUR PERSONAL PHYSICIAN HAS INFORMED YOU THAT YOU HAVE ONLY 30 DAYS TO LIVE. BECAUSE OF THIS REASON, YOU PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED TO SHARE YOUR ASSETS THE ABOVE MENTIONED NAME IS NOW ENTITLED TO CLAIM YOUR CONSIGNED FUNDS UNDER THIS NEW DISPENSATION.



BASE ON YOUR REQUEST, UNDER SUB SECTION 9 A-C, ARTICLE 5, SECTION 2 OF THE LEGAL PROVISION ON EVERY OUTSTANDING BILLS OF 1986, THE NEW BENEFICIARY AND BANK CO-ORDINATES WHICH YOU SUBMITTED, ALL PROCESS TO COMMENCE THE CHANGES OF RIGHT OF FUNDS IN FAVOUR OF YOUR MANAGER HAS BEEN IN PROCESS AS SOON AS WE ARE DONE WITH ALL NECESSARY CHARGES AS REQUESTED BY YOU WE WILL THEN ADVICE THE BANK TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER AS REQUESTED. BY YOU.



BE INFORMED THAT THE AUTHENTICATION OF YOUR FILE WILL BE COMMENCE IN FEW DAYS FROM NOW AS SOON AS THAT IS DONE, THE BANK WILL BE SENDING TO YOU THE TRANSFER CONFIRMATION OF THE FUNDS AS YOU REQUESTED IN YOUR POWER OF ATTORNEY, AN INSTRUCTION WILL BE GIVEN TO OUR CORRESPONDING BANK FOR THE IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF THE PAYMENT TO YOUR MANAGER WHO IS THE ONLY LEGAL PERSON TO RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS BASE ON YOUR SUBMISSION



AS SOON AS WE MAKE THE CONFIRMED OF THE PAYMENT OF THE REVALIDATION WHICH WERE MADE TODAY BY YOUR MANAGER, AS SOON AS THE PROCESS IS COMPLETED WITHIN 48HOURS WE WILL BE SENDING TO HIM THE PAYMENT REMITTANCE INFORMATION'S AS YOU REQUESTED ON YOUR LETTER



WE WILL ALSO MAKE SURE THAT THE IRREVOCABLE TRANSFER BOND WILL BE RELEASE TO THE RECEIVING BANK, TO GUARANTEE THAT THERE WILL NOT BE ANY INTERFERENCE AS THE AFFECTED TRANSACTION HAS OUR MANDATE.



FINALLY, ON BEHALF OF THIS ORGANIZATION, WE SYMPATHIES WITH YOU ON YOUR PRESENT ILLNESS..



THE ATTACHED FILES IS A COPY OF THE INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OF YOUR MANAGER WHICH YOU PRESENTATED.





Yours faithfully,



SOLICITOR Williams BECKAMAN (SAN)

HEAD OF LEGAL DEPARTMENT

The domain itself appears to reside on your network, on the IP 64.34.66.19


Its registration goes only a year, which is typical of scammer sites.


Creation Date: 19-apr-2006
Expiration Date: 19-apr-2007

The registration contact information seems off as well.

Name: Charles Adedeji
Address: 15779 Columbia Pike
Burtonsville, MD 20866

US
Email Address: emmyagwuson@yahoo.co.uk

The address is for a Parcel Plus location.
http://www.parcelplus.com/locations_bystate.cfm?mode=all&state=MD
The contact email is a "co.uk" address.


Phone Number: (170)654-34556

And the phone number seems incorrect. Either there is an extra digit and it is supposed to be an Atlanta, GA number, or it is correct and may be in Antigua or Barbuda, according to an analysis at
http://www.numberingplans.com/?page=analysis&sub=phonenr


The domain itself does not have a functional website there. It appears to be email only at this point. Please check into it and see if this domain is being used by a spammer/scammer.


Thank you for your time.

Pretty cut and dried, I thought. However, either abuse at Netfirms didn't think so or didn't care. The domain is still functional.

William does care, however. At least about my money.

TO;Baiter Name



Thanks to your profound explanation, just for formality sake as you have declined that you did not have any funds with the Union bank Plc to the value of $18.5million but we are really concerned how you name reflected on the inherit sated funds we are resending the attached file also and request your final confirmation to really enable us know exactly what to do.



The purpose of including he bank details on the letter which we send to you, is just have your confirmation to the subject.



Regards

Solicitor William Beckam (SAN)

Now, does anyone have a clue what he's talking about. I don't think he does, frankly.

He does, for extra good measure, include a passport scan for a Peruvian gent, that looks so good, I'm quite convinced it at least started life as a victim's real passport. If it's been tweaked, they did a very nice job. The machine readable line at the bottom was covered up at some point, possibly by he vic, thinking they were somehow "protecting" themselves while still handing their passport over on a silver platter, but all in all, very convincing.



I decide to keep playing annoyed and puzzled.

Thanks to your profound explanation, just for formality sake as you have declined that you did not have any funds with the Union bank Plc to the value of $18.5million but we are really concerned how you name reflected on the inherit sated funds


How the hell would I know? Don't you people keep any records or anything?



we are resending the attached file also



Why? I already told you I don't have a clue who the hell this person is. I still don't. And isn't it also reckless of you to be sending a copy of someone's passport around?


and request your final confirmation to really enable us know exactly what to do.



How would I know? I already told you, it isn't my money, none of those documents are mine, and I don't know where the heck you got my email address or this wild story.


The purpose of including he bank details on the letter which we send to you, is just have your confirmation to the subject.



You're barking up the wrong tree for confirmation here.



Regards

Solicitor William Beckam (SAN)




Like I said, try someone else. None of this has anything to do with me.

Now the dope has forgotten the concept of "inline comments" apparently.

Ma,

Your email came through without any reponds to the subject below is what we got.

And dude, I am not your ma. Try writing the entire word "Madam" or "Maam" next time.

I feel lazy.

Read the inline comments. They're in and among your comments.

And now, my lad apparently starts hallucinating. Auditory ones, at that.

TO;Baiter Name

MADAM,

IT WAS REALLY NICE TALKING TO YOU ON THE PHONE NOW, THOUGH THIS PARTICULAR NUMBERS YOU CALLED {234-80-25788168} IS MY PRIVATE NUMBER. I DID NOT KNOW HOW YOU CAME ABOUT IT BUT HOW EVER OUR CONVERSATION TO NIGHT REALLY HELPED ME SO MUCH BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING UP MORE COMPLICATED PROJECT THAN THIS BUT I HAVE NOT COME ACROSS MORE DIFFICULT ONE OF THIS MATURE.





AS YOU HAVE REQUESTED THAT I CALLED BACK THE FILE FROM THE SENATE PRESIDENTIAL TASK FORCE, I WILL CERTAINLY DO THAT BUT THOUGH THE TASK FORCE HAS STARTED THEIR INVESTIGATION ALREADY BECAUSE I MADE A PERSONAL RECOMMENDATION AND DECLARATION TO THIS PROJECT. SINCE YOU INFORMED ME DURING OUR TELEPHONE CONVERSATION NOW THAT YOU WILL PROVIDE YOUR OFFSHORE BANK ACCOUNT WHERE YOU WILL NEED THE FUNDS TO BE TRANSFERRED TO.



AS SOON AS I RECEIVE THE COORDINATES FROM YOU I WILL MAKE MY RECOMMENDATION TO THE BANK AND MONITOR THE TRANSFER OF THE FUNDS TO AVOID ANY OTHER COMPLICATIONS. YOUR CALL TONIGHT REALLY MADE THIS JOB EASIER FOR ME AND MY TERM.



YOURS FAITHFULLY,



SOLICITOR WILLIAM Beckam {SAN}

Needless to say, I haven't called him. If it's supposed to a be a subtle way of giving me his number or getting me to play some role, it's shade too subtle.

Well, I figure if he's delusional, I might as well point it out.

MADAM,

IT WAS REALLY NICE TALKING TO YOU ON THE PHONE NOW, THOUGH THIS PARTICULAR NUMBERS YOU CALLED {234-80-25788168} IS MY PRIVATE NUMBER.



Was it really nice talking to me? That's fabulous. And quite the trick. Because I DIDN'T CALL YOU.

I DID NOT KNOW HOW YOU CAME ABOUT IT BUT HOW EVER OUR CONVERSATION TO NIGHT REALLY HELPED ME SO MUCH BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING UP MORE COMPLICATED PROJECT THAN THIS BUT I HAVE NOT COME ACROSS MORE DIFFICULT ONE OF THIS MATURE.



Whatever. Have you been drinking? Or perhaps snorting some powdered substance up your nasal passages?


AS YOU HAVE REQUESTED THAT I CALLED BACK THE FILE FROM THE SENATE PRESIDENTIAL TASK FORCE, I WILL CERTAINLY DO THAT BUT THOUGH THE TASK FORCE HAS STARTED THEIR INVESTIGATION ALREADY BECAUSE I MADE A PERSONAL RECOMMENDATION AND DECLARATION TO THIS PROJECT. SINCE YOU INFORMED ME DURING OUR TELEPHONE CONVERSATION NOW THAT YOU WILL PROVIDE YOUR OFFSHORE BANK ACCOUNT WHERE YOU WILL NEED THE FUNDS TO BE TRANSFERRED TO.



I didn't inform you of anything, because I didn't talk to you on any phone.


AS SOON AS I RECEIVE THE COORDINATES FROM YOU I WILL MAKE MY RECOMMENDATION TO THE BANK AND MONITOR THE TRANSFER OF THE FUNDS TO AVOID ANY OTHER COMPLICATIONS. YOUR CALL TONIGHT REALLY MADE THIS JOB EASIER FOR ME AND MY TERM.



YOURS FAITHFULLY,



SOLICITOR WILLIAM Beckam {SAN}



Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy. Hell, at this point, you're not even sounding as intelligent as a Jack In The Box.

Seriously, what are you on?

My lad replies in the only way he knows how. With a high WTF? factor.

Sir,

I got your mail we will get back to you within 72hours, we are making proper investigation concerning this issue.

My reply is short and sweet.

*sigh* What part of "I am not a man" do you not understand, you halfwit?

A light goes on! It's a very tiny light, but still, a light, nonetheless.

MADAM,



Finally, you got ONE thing right.


THIS IS TO CONFIRM TO YOU THE OUTCOME OF OUR INVESTIGATION, WE DISCOVERED TOTAL IGNORANT OVER THIS DEVELOPMENT BASED ON THE INFORMATION GIVEN TO US BY THE SENATE PRESIDENTIAL TASKFORCE.



And what the hell precisely would that mean?


THEY MADE US TO UNDERSTAND THIS COMPLICATIONS EMANATED FROM SOME OFFICIALS WHICH TOOK THE ADVANTAGE FOR THE FACT THAT YOUR TRANSACTION FILES HAS NOT BEEN INDEMNIFIED AND CASHED INTO IT TO CARRY OUT ALL THE CHANGES PERTAINING YOUR PROJECT STATIONERIES.


And what fucking files would they be? I've already told you, no one OWES me any money.


IN VIEW TO THIS DEVELOPMENT, AND TO INSURED THAT THIS ACT WILL NOT REOCCURRED AGAIN.



Damn it, how far up your arse is your head?


WE HAVE DECIDED YOUR FILE WILL UNDERGO THE INDEMNIFY PROCESS WHICH ALSO PROTECT YOU FROM PAYING ANY

>OTHER ADDITIONAL FEES FOR THE CONCLUSION AND RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT.

Since I haven't paid any fees, I can hardly pay "additional fees", now can I? And since you don't owe me any fucking payment, I won't be paying anything anyway. I don't HAVE a payment, for fuck's sake.


THE PROCESS ALSO GIVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE ALL THE REQUIRED REDUCTION FROM THE PRINCIPLE AMOUNT AND ALSO GRANT US THE OPPORTUNITY TO ADVICE THE PAYEE BANK IN EUROPE TO CONDUCT THE TRANSFER WHICH ALL RELATED LEGAL DOCUMENTATION PERTAINING THE REMITTANCE. WHICH ALSO PROTECT YOU FROM OBTAINING ANY DOCUMENTATION TO CERTIFY THE FUNDS OKEY IN YOUR COUNTRY?



That made no fucking sense. Really, you need to find someone who can actually WRITE English. While you're at it, find someone who can READ English to explain my emails to you. Maybe then you would QUIT BABBLING FUCKING NONSENSE AT ME!


THE INDEMNIFY PROCESS WILL COST YOU 0.01% OF THE VALUE OF YOUR FUNDS AND $870 WHICH STANDS AS THE NON-RESIDENTIAL AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIMS, AS SOON AS YOU CAN PROVIDE US WITH THIS FUNDS, THEN WE CAN SIGN THE SURETY AND LEGAL AGREEMENT WITHIN FIVE WORKING DAYS THIS ENTIRE ISSUE WILL BE AS GOOD AS BEEN CONCLUDED. AS THE WEST PARK BANK WILL BE DEALING DIRECTLY WITH YOUR BANK TO INSURE THE CONFIRMATION OF YOUR FUNDS INTO YOUR DESIGNATED ACCOUNT WITHOUT ANY INTEGRATION.



Seriously, what the fuck do I have to do to get you to understand. YOU HAVE THE WRONG PERSON, DICKHEAD.


REGARDING TO THE IMPOSTERS THE SECURITY AGENTS HAS CAUGHT TWO DIRECTORS FROM THE BANK WHICH ARE INVOLVED ON THIS ACT AND THEY HAVE STARTED MENTIONING OTHER NAMES THAT ARE INVOLVED IN THIS ACT. THEY ENSURED US THAT THEY ARE VERY CLOSE TO GET INFORMATION'S OF THEIR AGENT IN PERU.



Well, yay for whoever actually is owed this payment, then, but that isn't me.


WE WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD HEARING FROM YOU FOR MORE INFORMATION I CAN BE REACHED ON 234-1-7753763-EXT119



Are you sure you can operate a phone without injuring yourself?

SOLICITOR WILLIAM BECKAM {SAN}

He's quiet until July 21, then comes back with this.

TO;Baiter Name

I think we have given you so much grace till this time and we have not heard from you so what we will do right now is to move your file to the senate, we will not be held responsible if any thing should go wrong on your transaction note that your files are open

Good luck

William Beckam

Huh? Moo?

I figure I'll try to get a rise by calling him a fraudster, but frankly, I think he's too dense to know when he's been insulted.

So, make up your mind. Did you talk to me on the phone or not? You claimed in your last email that you did. Now you claim you haven't heard from me. So which is it?

Also, what the hell are you bloody on about? You still haven't explained why the heck you're contacting me or what about. I don't think you even know. You don't seem to keep records or files, or even know what your stinking job is, and you don't even have a damned webpage at that address.

I think you're some kind of fraudster.

Alas, no rise. No death threat. Not even another incomprehensible email, yet. I had rather grown fond of his babble...

Sometimes, I just like being super extra contrary when baiting a 419 scammer. Consider this one of those times.

I get this thing, supposedly from the Minister of Finance.

Scammer mails in blue.

FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE
Honourable Minister : Mrs Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala
http://www.fmf.gov.ng/
http://www.nigeria.gov.ng/fed_min_finance.aspx

Attention; Beneficiary.
Sir

Sub; Stop Wasting your fund and do not allow yourself to be deceived anymore;

After proper negotiation With Nigerian Government to look into foreign debts and settlement I decided to write you for confirmation.

Actually, I know that you may knows my name and this office position through many fraudulent Nigerians whom had been contacting different Foreign Contractors to Nigerian government through my office.

In this issue, I would like to observer why your payment had not been sent to you till date.

Furthermore, before I would commence on this payment issue, I would like you to visit these http://www.fmf.gov.ng/
http://www.nigeria.gov.ng/fed_min_finance.aspx so that you could know better of the office and myself.

You contract payment would be transfer to you through the instruction of Federal Ministry of Finance, by use of the first projected fund in the website tag; FOREIGN RESERVES HIT $12.4bn, I would prefer to hear from you, based on your observation in the website before remitting instruction and updating.

Furthermore; we have cases of fraud and deceives from our foreign contractors’ we hereby advising you that as of this moment we are communicating with you, to resolve the issue of foreign contract failures, you should to keep away from any other office or person, regarding to your contract payment, hence they could not effect the payment for the past years and months.

You should work with Federal Ministry Of Finance Sincerely to avoid Contradictions on the process of this transfer updating.

Uh huh. Good job. That's almost as incomprehensible as a real government employee on a four day drunken bender with a legal dictionary.

I reply.

FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE
Honourable Minister : Mrs Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala
http://www.fmf.gov.ng/
http://www.nigeria.gov.ng/fed_min_finance.aspx

Attention; Beneficiary.
Sir



First off, I'm not a sir.


Sub; Stop Wasting your fund and do not allow yourself to be deceived anymore;

After proper negotiation With Nigerian Government to look into foreign debts and settlement I decided to write you for confirmation.

Actually, I know that you may knows my name and this office position through many fraudulent Nigerians whom had been contacting different Foreign Contractors to Nigerian government through my office.



I'm not a foreign contractor. Or even a domestic contractor. I'm not a contractor.

In this issue, I would like to observer why your payment had not been sent to you till date.



Because I'm not a contractor in the frst damned place?


Furthermore, before I would commence on this payment issue, I would like you to visit these http://www.fmf.gov.ng/
http://www.nigeria.gov.ng/fed_min_finance.aspx so that you could know better of the office and myself.

You contract payment would be transfer to you through the instruction of Federal Ministry of Finance, by use of the first projected fund in the website tag; FOREIGN RESERVES HIT $12.4bn, I would prefer to hear from you, based on your observation in the website before remitting instruction and updating.



You can hear from me before I read them, because I AM NOT A CONTRACTOR.


Furthermore; we have cases of fraud and deceives from our foreign contractors' we hereby advising you that as of this moment we are communicating with you, to resolve the issue of foreign contract failures, you should to keep away from any other office or person, regarding to your contract payment, hence they could not effect the payment for the past years and months.


No problem, because I am not a contractor, and I shouldn't be getting a payment of any kind anyway.


You should work with Federal Ministry Of Finance Sincerely to avoid Contradictions on the process of this transfer updating.



Why should I work with you? I am not a contractor.


Your contract fund was recorded in with this ministry and should be paid >into your bank accounts We would hand the matter after your confirmation.



No you won't, because I don't have a contract fund. I'm not a contractor.


Your urgent responds counts on our activities. You can reply via fmf_nigfinance@yahoo.com
fmf_nigeriafinancesource@yahoo.com

Thanks.
Mrs.; Ngozi Okonjo Iweala.
Minister Of Finance Nigeria
__________________________________________________



Right. Just in case you missed it the first fifteen times, I'm not a contractor, and I don't have a contract fund. You have the wrong person.

And why are you not using email from the same sites you pointed me to?

I bet they hate it when people insist on being doggedly honest.

The good Minister does not appear to be able to read. Or to identify blatantly female names.

Attention; Baiter Name
Sir

You mail was receive which was in accord with my payment proposal sent to you. Actually, your fund is due to be transffer into your bank account via this ministry as noted in my previous mail to you.
I hereby to inform you that The president had verified your file and all perfect transfer instructions was given to me to effect your fund via the indicated $12bn foreign reserve .

Firstly; I hereby advise you to stop further communication with those you have been comminicating in respect of the stated unpaid contract fund.
All, you required to do now are;
State your receiving banking details, whereby the fund would be transfer into secondly, state your contract detail.
Lastly; send your contractors' identity card for my verification so that I could transfer your fund within 48 hours.
I am waiting urgently to hear from you.
Thanks.
Mrs Ngozi Iweala
Minister of Finance Nigeria

Oh, look, an Abuse The Scammer For Free card!

Attention; Baiter Name
Sir





Did you fucking read a word I sent you? I told you, I'm not a sir.

You mail was receive which was in accord with my payment proposal sent to you. Actually, your fund is due to be transffer into your bank account via this ministry as noted in my previous mail to you.



And I told you I'm not a contractor.


I hereby to inform you that The president had verified your file and all perfect transfer instructions was given to me to effect your fund via the indicated $12bn foreign reserve .



Isn't my file. I'm not a contractor.


Firstly; I hereby advise you to stop further communication with those you have been comminicating in respect of the stated unpaid contract fund.



I'm not communicating with anyone but YOU, you giant loony. And you can stop communicating with me, because I'm not a contractor. Sheesh. Do you know how to read?


All, you required to do now are;
State your receiving banking details, whereby the fund would be transfer into secondly, state your contract detail.



As it's not my money, I think the only thing I'm required to do here is to tell you to 1) read my last damned email and 2) to fuck off.


Lastly; send your contractors' identity card for my verification so that I could transfer your fund within 48 hours.



Seeing as I'm not a contractor and I already told you that, I think not.


I am waiting urgently to hear from you.
Thanks.
Mrs Ngozi Iweala
Minister of Finance Nigeria



And now you have. Maybe you could bother READING it this time.

"Mrs. Iweala" obviously needs Hooked on Phonics.

Dear Sir
I have your mail, it was noted.
Please note that I have submitted your file to the new appointed Minister of finance in Nigeria
She would be heading this office and would be reaching you. She is a nice woman and would transfer your fund urgently, her Name is Mrs. Nenadi Y Usman, maybe by tomorrow she would be contacting you with he contract payment procedure.
Instruction I left for her is to perfect your payment at her first barge in office before frauds would be using her name to contact you.
Lastly, note that I was appointed as the new minister of internal affairs which I have not accepted.
Please contact Mrs. Nenadi Y Usman the new minister of finance via this mail only fmf_nigeriafinancesource@yahoo.com
Thanks
Mrs Iweala

Lots of women in upper management. Too bad they're probably all male scammers in web cafes, but still, it's nice to see that glass ceiling going by the wayside...

Dear Sir
I have your mail, it was noted.



Apparently it wasn't very well noted, because I AM NOT A SIR! I AM A WOMAN!


Please note that I have submitted your file to the new appointed Minister of >finance in Nigeria
She would be heading this office and would be reaching you. She is a nice woman and would transfer your fund urgently, her Name is Mrs. Nenadi Y Usman, maybe by tomorrow she would be contacting you with he contract payment procedure.



Do any of you nitwits know how to read? I told you, I'm not a contractor and I am not owed any money.


Instruction I left for her is to perfect your payment at her first barge in office before frauds would be using her name to contact you.
Lastly, note that I was appointed as the new minister of internal affairs which I have not accepted.
Please contact Mrs. Nenadi Y Usman the new minister of finance via this mail >only fmf_nigeriafinancesource@yahoo.com
Thanks
Mrs Iweala



Look, I wish you dippy bints would all get it through your head, I am not a contractor and I am not owed any money. CHECK YOUR DAMNED RECORDS! YOU HAVE THE WRONG PERSON!

Nice woman, but still apparently can't read.

FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE
Honourable Minister : Mrs Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala
http://www.fmf.gov.ng/
http://www.nigeria.gov.ng/fed_min_finance.aspx

Attention; Baiter Name
Madam

Thanks you for your congratulated mail, it was understood and appreciated by me.

You mail was receive which was in accordiance with my payment proposal as submited to my approval and updating by Mrs Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, the fomer minister of finance, who had asked my help in perfecting your transfer as the first barge of payment through this office.

Actually, your fund would be due transffer into your bank account via this ministry as based on the respect I have for Hon Mrs Iweala who had introduced your name to me.

I hereby to inform you that The president and Mrs Iweala had verified your file and all perfect transfer instructions was given to me to effect your fund via the indicated $12bn foreign reserve .

Firstly; I hereby advise you to stop further communication with those you have been comminicating in respect of the stated unpaid contract fund.
All, you required to do now are;
State your receiving banking details, whereby the fund would be transfer into secondly, state your contract detail.
Lastly; send your contractors' identity card for my verification so that I could transfer your fund within 48 hours.
I am waiting urgently to hear from you.
Thanks.
For; Minister of Finance Nigeria

Well, at least she got the "Madam" part right for a change.

I go on being doggedly honest to a fault.

Seriously, can you not read? I AM NOT A CONTRACTOR!

The only person I'm communicating with is YOU, you wacko, and I think it can hardly be called "communicating", since you can't seem to get it through your thick skull that I'm NOT A CONTRACTOR AND NIGERIA DOESN'T OWE ME ANY FUCKING MONEY.

You would think the government would be HAPPY I'm saving them all this money they don't owe me...

Dear Mrs. Baiter Name

Note that I am waiting for the verification of the Contract Identitiy Card and ICI Certificate of the fund, which was instructed to the care of Ministry Of Finance by Nigeria to transfer in your favored bank account.

I required the confirmation ofContract Identitiy Card and ICI Certificate by you, before final credit to your fund into your designated bank account.

Finally you are advised to Go through your files in your home carefully and look properly for the two required documents, but if you do not see the ICI and Contract Identit Card in your house, you should Contact MR BILL CHIBUZOM via email billchibuzom@yahoo.com for the processing of the Contract Identitiy Card and ICI Certificate.

I am Waiting urgently on your reply.
Thanks
Mrs Ngozi Okonjo Iweala.
Minister of Finance Nigeria.
Thanks.
For; Minister of Finance Nigeria

Cool, I wonder if she can also tell me where I mislaid my second pair of sunglasses... I can't spot them in my house, either.

Dear Mrs. Baiter Name



I'm not a "Mrs." either.


Note that I am waiting for the verification of the Contract Identitiy Card and ICI Certificate of the fund, which was instructed to the care of Ministry Of Finance by Nigeria to transfer in your favored bank account.



Seeing as I AM NOT A CONTRACTOR, I don't have one and don't need one.


I required the confirmation ofContract Identitiy Card and ICI Certificate by >you, before final credit to your fund into your designated bank account.



You don't owe me any money, so shove your request for a CIC card and an ICI Certificate up your A-R-S-E.


Finally you are advised to Go through your files in your home carefully and look properly for the two required documents,



You can go through your own damned files and see why you insist on contacting THE WRONG PERSON, who keeps telling you she's not a contractor.

but if you do not see the ICI and Contract Identit Card in your house, you should Contact MR BILL CHIBUZOM via email billchibuzom@yahoo.com for the processing of the Contract Identitiy Card and ICI Certificate.



How about I contact him and get him to inspect your skull for any evidence of any gray matter instead?

Sadly, I haven't heard back. And gee, I was just starting to have fun insulting "her"...