I love to hit scammers with the logic stick. They hate it. I also like to see how many times I can get them to write back without exerting much effort.

I get the following from "Alhaji".

Dear Friend,

I AM ALHAJI SOW OUSMANE.I AM 67YEARS OLD.I AM A CITIZEN OF KUWAIT BUT HOSPITALISED IN CAYMAN ISLAND NOW. I DONT KNOW YOU, BUT DUE TO MY CONDITION I AM CONTACTING YOU WITH THE HOPE THAT YOU WILL CARRY OUT MY WISH FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY

I AM PRESENTLY IN HOSPITAL SUFFERING FROM LUNG CANCER.I HAD PARTIAL STROKE
WHICH HAS AFFECTED MY SPEECH AND HALF OF MY BODY IS PARALYSED. I CAN NO LONGER TALK AND I AM ALSO DEAF.I SEND YOU THIS EMAIL WITH THE HELP OF MY PRIVATE NURSE WHO IS ASSISTING ME. MY DAYS HERE ON EARTH IS NUMBERED AS MY HEALTH HAS DETERIORATED.

I HAVE TWO BOXES DEPOSITED WITH A SECURITY COMPANY IN EUROPE. ONE CONTAINS GOLD AND PRESIOUS STONES WHICH IS EQUIVALENT TO ABOUT 17.5MILLION DOLLARS.THE OTHER IS STASHED WITH US$15MILLION CASH.

I WANT YOU TO SELL THE GOLD AND USE IT TO BUILD AN ORPHANAGE IN YOUR COUNTRY AND HELP SOME OTHER

ORGANISATIONS I WILL BE SENDING TO YOU. I WILL SEND YOU A LIST OF SOME OTHER NGO'S YOU WILL BE DISTRIBUTING THE FUNDS AMONGST.

I WILL GIVE YOU 15% OF THE TOTAL FUNDS AND PRECIOUS STONES FOR YOUR GOOD DEEDS. THE ORPHANAGE IN YOUR
COUNTRY MUST BE NAMED "ALHAJI OUSMANE SOW ORPHANAGE HOME".

IF YOU ARE READY TO DO THIS AND CARRY OUT MY WISH, THEN SEND ME
[1]YOUR FULL NAMES,
[2] YOUR PHONE/FAX NUMBER,
[3] AND YOUR RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS.

I AWAIT YOUR REPLY.

ALHAJI SOW OUSMANE.
NB: Kindly email me via EMAIL ADDRESS: al_sowmane@yahoo.ca

Poor dearie. Him and every other scammer on the net.

I decide to ask the obvious.

Why not just write a will? And I don't have a fax.

Ah, off his script on message 2, I'll wager.

DEAR TRINA,

THAT WHOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST IF THE CONSIGNMENT IS STILL IN MY CONUTRY KUWAIT BUT NOW THE CONSIGNMENTS ARE IN EUROPE, I DON'T ASK YOU TO SEND MONEY TO ME, ONLY YOUR CONTACT INFORMATIONS TO HELP ME ADVICE THE SECURITY COMPANY TO REALASE THE CONSIGNMENT TO YOUR CARE, ONE THING I NEED MOSTLY FROM YOU IS TO CARRY OUT MY WISH
I decide to make him work for it.

> DEAR TRINA,
>
> THAT WHOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST IF THE CONSIGNMENT IS STILL IN MY CONUTRY
> KUWAIT BUT NOW THE CONSIGNMENTS ARE IN EUROPE,

Where in Europe? Be more specific.

>I DON'T ASK YOU TO SEND
> MONEY TO ME, ONLY YOUR CONTACT INFORMATIONS TO HELP ME ADVICE THE SECURITY
> COMPANY TO REALASE THE CONSIGNMENT TO YOUR CARE, ONE THING I NEED MOSTLY
> FROM YOU IS TO CARRY OUT MY WISH
>

Let's see some proof this security company exists, first. Where is it located? Who runs it? Where are its offices? Is it reputable? Contact information for the company, and so on. I'm not giving a complete stranger my information without checking out them and the company first.

And here's the company info.

HE THANK YOU FOR YOUR QUESTIONS,

I SAW YOUR MESSAGE YESTERDAY BUT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN BECAUSE MY NURSE WHERE NOT AROUND. THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT THEM OR TO MAKE INQURIES FROM FROM THE COMPANY.

THIS IS THE REF. UNMBERS OF TWO BOXES.

1) CAP NO: ASLM/00375.

2) CAP NO: ASLM/00374.

BELOW IS THEIR INFORMATION.

Address; KÖTTER DIPLOMATIC AND SECURITY COMPANY

DUSSELDORF AIRPORT

DUSSELDORF GERMANY:

Name, HANS BOAR

Telephone, 00491744409280 Operation Depertment

I AWAIT FOR YOUR REPLY.

ALHAJI OUSMANE SOW.

Of course it's not going to be that easy.

The airport directory contains no entry for the company. I also called the airport's main number, and they said there's no such company there. Are you sure that's the right information?
So... um... old people can't lie or something?

MY DEAR,

HOW ARE YOU TODAY AND YOUR FAMILY, I HOPE EVERY PERSON IS FINE, EXTEND MY GREETINGS TO THEM ALL.

IF NOT THE CONDITION OF MY HEALTH I DON'T THINK YOU WILL FEEL THAT AM TELLING YOU LIES AS AT MY AGE, THEN WHAT IS MY BENEFIT FROM LIES, AM NOT REQUESTING ANY THING FROM YOU, MAYBE YOU FEEL THAT BECAUSE OF THAT I WILL LIES TO GET WHAT I WANT.

THAT IS THE CORRECT INFORMATIONS BECAUSE THIS IS NOT MY FRIST TIME OF USING THE COMPANY.YOU CAN CONTACT THE OPERATION DEPARTMENT FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE CONSIGNMENT.

BEST REGARDS,

ALHAJI OUSMANE SOW.
Yes, yes I does think you lies.

Evidently, Alhaji felt the need to add a P.S. message of sorts, and sent this before I replied.

AM DELIGHTING TO HEAR FROM YOU.

I express suspicion.

I'll try phoning, but there is something very FISHY going on here. Maybe you are telling LIES. Otherwise, why would you sound so defensive? Your age has nothing to do with your honesty.

And he passes along the number.

Dear,

You can contact the security company this number. 00491744409280

Believe it or not, I call, via Skype. At the time, I didn't have the ability to record the call The fella working the phone does not exactly have elite phone skills. When I ask the hard questions, or even the soft ones, his story falls apart like a bridge made out of jam.

I just did. Not only was the "security company" unable to answer simple questions about their company, they claimed they couldn't look up any reference numbers for any boxes, couldn't explain why they have a mobile phone as a contact number, and couldn't explain why the airport has no idea they exist. Then the guy kept saying that I must be calling the wrong number, despite the fact that he said earlier he was the security company! Then, unbelievably, he tried to say he hadn't just said that they were located in the airport! Look, either you have picked the most comically inept security company in the history of man, or it's a real company and you're lying about having anything stored with them, or you're both liars and fakes. I'm willing to bet on the last. No real company could possibly be that pathetic at what they do and manage to stay in business.

Alhaji tries to rally.

Thanks for your message.

compliments of the season, am sorry for many delay is dueto the condition of my health, please my dear recomfirm the telephone number you call to me please.

best wish.

Sow
Here's me being difficult again. I CALLED the number you gave me.

Bless him, he's apologizing to me for me being difficult. Good boy!

I understand, I want you to recomfirm the number to me please

don't be annoyed.

I oblige this time.
The number is RIGHT there in the message I replied to! Do you need a giant blinking sign or something?
00491744409280

He's slightly confused as to what the problem is.

Sorry for many delays, that is the number, but i don't understand what is going on between you and them, please you can contact them with email :gdsc_hans@yahoo.co.uk then get back to me immediately.

Thanks for your understanding.

Best regards,

Alhaji ousmane.

I push for a website to close.

Why would a security company have a YAHOO account? Where is their real website?

Like a true bureaucrat, he gives up and passes the buck to someone else.

write to them and ask them the question please.

I do, and copy him on it.

How come you people don't have a REAL email address? Where is your website?

Unfortunately, they are even worse at answering questions than he is, because they never attempt it. Another straight bait comes to an end.