Sometimes, I don't even bother trying to figure out why these people email me. I assume this is probably a "rebound lad", whom I've baited before. The name Paul Reez doesn't really ring a bell. He seems to start the scam in the middle.
Oh, I've got plenty of time for arguments. And for insulting "people like you". He was so angry, he even sent me the above twice.
Once again, I'm playing an affronted victim here, so the views expressed are totally imaginary, but about what I would imagine a victim jerked around for months might express.
It's not a stupid question. Why on God's little green earth should I have to pay anything to get what's owed to me? You were supposedly ordered to pay me what I'm owed, so pay it already. Get Paul Reez to pay the fucking fee, or the Nigerian government. The bunch of deadbeat bastards.
Yes, I do.
I'm the person OWED SEVERAL MILLION DOLLARS.
Then cancel it, asshole. You probably couldn't figure out how to cancel a card if your sorry little life depended on it. That would take a speck of competence. You want a fee, get it out of the assholes who owe me the money.
He tries to stomp off in affronted fashion and play hard to get, but goofs. My baiter name is obviously a female name. Unless you're a scammer...
MR. *baiter name*, THANKS
Ahem.
I'm not a MAN, you IDIOT! Any simpleton knows that *baiter name* is a female name. Shows what you know. If you really worked for a bank, you would know that.
So, cue the automaton requests for money.
Dr.Chuma Uba
What happened to all those threats to cancel my card if I didn't play nice?
I decide that I'm going to be a bit suspicious of this sudden 180.
And what credit card would this be? There isn't a credit card, because you lot and Paul Reez are a bunch of scammers. And morons. But mostly scammers.
And here's where the scammer makes the mistake of trying to be clever. He copies "Dr. Paul Reez" on this response to me.
DR. CHUMA UBA.(DIRECTOR)
I love how my character got a sex change halfway through. Honestly, scammers are usually such utter failures at recognizing/remembering that they're corresponding with females that I'm beginning to wonder how they ever manage to reel in a real female victim on anything but a romance scam. You can yell "I'm a girl!" at them every mail and they still can't keep it straight.
I decide to remain "skeptical".
Stop faking like you're actually asking a question of anyone but another scammer, you nitwit. There is no credit card, and you're nothing official in Nigeria unless it's the Official Piece of Scamming Dogshit On The Sole Of The Nation.
The scammer goes for the "if you don't behave, I'm giving your toy to little Billy instead" approach.
This is to notify you that after our much consultations with Mr. Paul Reez today,we were made to understand that your creditcard has a validity date of expirations,so you have to send us our acceptance fee immediately and start usage immediately..
We do hereby appealing to you to send our acceptance fee of $350usd only.Send the fee over thie weekend immediately so that i will despatch your creditcard to your address on monday morning.
It is left for you to hasting with time factor and send the fee requested for the I.S.P.O.(INTERNATIONAL STANDING PAYMENT ORDER)Send us the acceptance fee of $350usd to;
MR.CLETUS OKEKE
LAGOS NIGERIA
AMOUNT FOR ACCEPTANCE FEE $350USD.
Send it with the above receivers informations, and forward the detailed receipt to me .This acceptance fee give you access of withdraw of fund from any ATM cash centre anywhere in the World as the Interswitch will be recorganise and accepted.
Finally,do not count it our fault if your creditcard expires without you making withdraws from it,Better consider our help and send the money from now till monday and give me details.
Thanks
Dr.Chuma Uba.
There for a second, I thought I had been emailed by Doctor Chumbawumba. Sadly, no. I feel like breaking out the logic stick and playing the affronted, frustrated victim who has been trying to get their payment for some time.
Why would I need to PAY a FEE for ACCEPTING what YOU FUCKING OWE ME? And by the way, Cletus, a damned credit card doesn't expire for at least four years, and the issuing bank will automatically send you a replacement card. You're full of shit.
I love how he threatens to cancel the credit card I don't have. Next, he'll be threatening to take away my allowance.
DR.CHUMA UBA
There for a second, I thought I had been emailed by Doctor Chumbawumba. Sadly, no. I feel like breaking out the logic stick and playing the affronted, frustrated victim who has been trying to get their payment for some time.
Why would I need to PAY a FEE for ACCEPTING what YOU FUCKING OWE ME? And by the way, Cletus, a damned credit card doesn't expire for at least four years, and the issuing bank will automatically send you a replacement card. You're full of shit.
I love how he threatens to cancel the credit card I don't have. Next, he'll be threatening to take away my allowance.
DONT BE STUPID WHILE ADDRESSING PEOPLE LIKE ME.DO YOU THINK THAT WE HAVE TIME FOR YOUR MORE ARGUEMENTS?DONT BE STUPID OVER THIS MATTER.JUST FLLOW INSTRUCTIONS AND STP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS.ARE MY THE PERSON WHO CONTACTED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE?WAS IT NOT THE CREDITCARD OFFICE NDER THE DIRECTIVES FROM DR. PAUL REEZ WHO HAVE INFORMED US TO ENDORSE YOUR CARD AND SEND IT TO YOU.R DO YOU WANT US TO SEND YOU THE CARD WITHOUT OUR ACCEPTANCE FEE?WHOM DO YOU THINK YOU ARE.PLEASE,YOU BETTER CONTACT DR. PAUL REEZ AND STOP INSULTING PEPLE LIKE ME OTHERWISE,I WILL CANCEL YOUR APPROVED CREDITCARD AND SET IT TO BLOCKAGE FOR USES.
THANKS
Oh, I've got plenty of time for arguments. And for insulting "people like you". He was so angry, he even sent me the above twice.
Once again, I'm playing an affronted victim here, so the views expressed are totally imaginary, but about what I would imagine a victim jerked around for months might express.
It's not a stupid question. Why on God's little green earth should I have to pay anything to get what's owed to me? You were supposedly ordered to pay me what I'm owed, so pay it already. Get Paul Reez to pay the fucking fee, or the Nigerian government. The bunch of deadbeat bastards.
DONT BE STUPID WHILE ADDRESSING PEOPLE LIKE ME.DO YOU THINK THAT WE HAVE TIME FOR YOUR MORE ARGUEMENTS?DONT BE STUPID OVER THIS MATTER.JUST FLLOW INSTRUCTIONS AND STP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS.ARE MY THE PERSON WHO CONTACTED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE?WAS IT NOT THE CREDITCARD OFFICE NDER THE DIRECTIVES FROM DR. PAUL REEZ WHO HAVE INFORMED US TO ENDORSE YOUR CARD AND SEND IT TO YOU.R DO YOU WANT US TO SEND YOU THE CARD WITHOUT OUR ACCEPTANCE FEE?
Yes, I do.
WHOM DO YOU THINK YOU ARE.
I'm the person OWED SEVERAL MILLION DOLLARS.
PLEASE,YOU BETTER CONTACT DR. PAUL REEZ AND STOP INSULTING PEPLE LIKE ME OTHERWISE,I WILL CANCEL YOUR APPROVED CREDITCARD AND SET IT TO BLOCKAGE FOR USES.
Then cancel it, asshole. You probably couldn't figure out how to cancel a card if your sorry little life depended on it. That would take a speck of competence. You want a fee, get it out of the assholes who owe me the money.
He tries to stomp off in affronted fashion and play hard to get, but goofs. My baiter name is obviously a female name. Unless you're a scammer...
MR. *baiter name*,
WHEN YOU ARE READY FOR YOUR CARD PAYMENT,THEN,YOU CONTACT ME IN A GOOD MANNER.
Ahem.
I'm not a MAN, you IDIOT! Any simpleton knows that *baiter name* is a female name. Shows what you know. If you really worked for a bank, you would know that.
So, cue the automaton requests for money.
We have endorsed your creditcard and it is now ready for usage.I have also packaged the whole informations as i awaits for you to send down our acceptance fee of $350usd only to Mr. CLETUS OKEKE as we earlier advised,then.we shall despatch your approved card to your below home address without further delay today.We have reported to Dr.Paul Reez over your delay before the card expires.
Send our acceptance fee immediately.Below is the details once again.
Name;CLETUS OKEKE
Address;LAGOS NIGERIA.
Amount is $350usd only.
Please,remember to add test question/answer while giving us the details.
Thanks.
What happened to all those threats to cancel my card if I didn't play nice?
I decide that I'm going to be a bit suspicious of this sudden 180.
And what credit card would this be? There isn't a credit card, because you lot and Paul Reez are a bunch of scammers. And morons. But mostly scammers.
And here's where the scammer makes the mistake of trying to be clever. He copies "Dr. Paul Reez" on this response to me.
ATTENTION DR.PAUL REEZ
UK.CREDITCARD OPERATIONS
AND MONITORING UNIT.
DEAR DR.PAUL,
WE HAVING BEEN RESPONDED TO YOUR INSTRUCTIONS OVER THE BEARERS APPROVED CREDITCARD WHICH WAS SENT TO US BY YOUR HONOURABLE OFFICE IN UK FOR AFINAL ENDORSEMENTAND DESPATCH TO THE BEARERS ADDRESS,WE HAVE NOTIFIED THE BELOW BEARER THAT WE HAVE ENDORSED THE CARD,AND DEMANDED THAT SHE SEND US OUR ACCEPTANCE FEE OF $350USD AS FOR US TO FACILITATE THE INSURANCE AND POSTAGE,DESPATCHING THE CARD AND USERS GUIDE INFORMATION MANUAL TO HER.
SIR,BELOW IS THE EMAIL RESPONSES WE GOT FROM HIM TODAY WHICH IS NOT ENCOURAGING.SHOULD WE CANCEL THE CARD?
YOUR URGENT ADVICE IS HIGHLY NEED BEFORE TOMORROW AS WE WILL NOT BE HOLD RESPONSIBLE IF THE CARD EXPIRES.
THANK YOU.
I love how my character got a sex change halfway through. Honestly, scammers are usually such utter failures at recognizing/remembering that they're corresponding with females that I'm beginning to wonder how they ever manage to reel in a real female victim on anything but a romance scam. You can yell "I'm a girl!" at them every mail and they still can't keep it straight.
I decide to remain "skeptical".
Stop faking like you're actually asking a question of anyone but another scammer, you nitwit. There is no credit card, and you're nothing official in Nigeria unless it's the Official Piece of Scamming Dogshit On The Sole Of The Nation.
The scammer goes for the "if you don't behave, I'm giving your toy to little Billy instead" approach.
I am preparing to send your card to another person in America.I can see that you are not serious over this.Another person have puting dow application of change over.
Thanks
So... yeah... right. The scammer expects me to believe that a government agency not only pays out multi-million dollar contracts by sending you a credit card you can use at the ATM, they expect me to believe that if you are naughty, your card will be sent to someone else. Uh. Huh.
So, in other words, you admit you're completely full of shit. If you really owed me money that was mine, you WOULDN'T be sending MY card to someone else in America. You're a complete and total fraud. You're don't even earn the title "scammer". REAL scammers would actually be good enough to convince someone and make some money. I bet you have to lick the road clean with your tongue to pick up some web cafe money.
Funnily enough, the tune changes, the singer is switched out, but otherwise, it's the same song, second verse. My sex also seems to change more than those lizards in Jurassic Park...
Anyway, I guess they figure if I don't buy this crap from Dr. Chumbawumba, maybe I'll believe Paul Reez. Not. Likely.
KONAN AND PARTNERS AFFILIATION PARTNERS,CO-OPERATIVE AND FINANCE BANK.JUPITER HOUSE,CALERA PARK,ALDER ASTON READING,BIRKSHIRE RG7 8NN U.K.
I am not a sir.
You can't use a Mastercard in any of my local ATMs. I would prefer a Visa. They have better customer service, too.
I don't think the ATMs around here are going to have that much cash in them. And my purse isn't that big.
Fascinating! I've only ever seen the 2.4. Could you send me a picture of the 2.6?
>
I'll do that. Did Dr. Chumbawumba coat it in zinc like those lottery scratch-off tickets or something? Will I need a quarter to scrape it off?
I prefer Visa. Can I get Visa? And you should already have my home address.
What are you doctors/professors of, Dr. Chumbawumba and Professor Eamywah?
Beats me what Paul Reez is trying to accomplish here... He claims I've received something I definitely haven't. Maybe he doesn't know what "receive" means.
DR.REEZ.
Meh, I'm feeling playful.
No, I haven't, because the idiot asked for a fee for it, which is ridiculous. There's no reason why I should pay to get money that's owed to me. That proved you lot are a bunch of scammers. You can all go hop on some heated steel spikes, for all I care. You're not getting any money from me.
Paul Reez is still a moron. The CC is SoonToExpireOMG!
Dr. Paul Reez(Creditcard Operations and Monitoring Unit UK).
But I thought I had already received it! And how am I going to get all those mill-yuns and mill-yuns I'm owed if I'm restricted to $5000 a day for 65 days? That's a mere $325,000! That won't even get me a manicure!
Dear Moron, I am not a "sir", and what part of my last message which read "asking for money in order to pay me money that is rightfully owed to me proves you are a bunch of fucking scammers" are you having trouble understanding? Have a small, brain-damaged monkey explain the really hard words to you.
Paul Reez gives it another go.
I ask a logical question.
Well, where is my card?
Unfortunately, the prod doesn't produce any response.
So... yeah... right. The scammer expects me to believe that a government agency not only pays out multi-million dollar contracts by sending you a credit card you can use at the ATM, they expect me to believe that if you are naughty, your card will be sent to someone else. Uh. Huh.
So, in other words, you admit you're completely full of shit. If you really owed me money that was mine, you WOULDN'T be sending MY card to someone else in America. You're a complete and total fraud. You're don't even earn the title "scammer". REAL scammers would actually be good enough to convince someone and make some money. I bet you have to lick the road clean with your tongue to pick up some web cafe money.
Funnily enough, the tune changes, the singer is switched out, but otherwise, it's the same song, second verse. My sex also seems to change more than those lizards in Jurassic Park...
Anyway, I guess they figure if I don't buy this crap from Dr. Chumbawumba, maybe I'll believe Paul Reez. Not. Likely.
KONAN AND PARTNERS
Sir,
Your credit mastercard details has been emailed to Prof.Emeawah and Dr. Chuma Uba today.We have programmed the interswitch for a possible global ATM withdraw informations and manuscript.The UK credit and finance regulatory unit has certisfied your status of the credit master card ok.
We were instructed to program the creditcard with the withdraw limit of $50,000usd per a day and after our much struggles to raise the limit with the mpv2.6 high upgrading machine.We are certisfied with your details provided to us by the verification unit in Nigeria via Prof Emeawah.and Dr. Chuma Uba.
Your credit card where despactched to the committee for their final approval.Please,the card was cealed and authenticated with a heavy cealer coated zinc for security reasons.Do not relate the card informations to anybody as the informations is personal and not transferable.Do not receive the mastercard if you suspect been tampered. Do not expose your secrete pin as to avoid hackers from tampering with your account informations.
Other informations and guided manuscript will be sending to your home address by the committee leader on card usage and instruction unit via Dr. Chuma Ubah and Prof. Emeawah.
For more details,you have to send your home and office address to the committee via Dr. Chuma Uba on where you would like to receive your prepared mastercard for immediate withdrawals from your ATM creditcard account round global.
Contact Dr. Chuma Uba and Prof Emeawah(nigeria_republic1960@yahoo.com).And (proffessor_emeawah@yahoo.co.uk).
Thanks
Dr.Paul Reez(Director of Credit card operations).
I send my response to everyone.Sir,
I am not a sir.
Your credit mastercard details has been emailed to Prof.Emeawah and Dr. Chuma Uba today.We have programmed the interswitch for a possible global ATM withdraw informations and manuscript.The UK credit and finance regulatory unit has certisfied your status of the credit master card ok.
You can't use a Mastercard in any of my local ATMs. I would prefer a Visa. They have better customer service, too.
We were instructed to program the creditcard with the withdraw limit of $50,000usd per a day
I don't think the ATMs around here are going to have that much cash in them. And my purse isn't that big.
and after our much struggles to raise the limit with the mpv2.6 high upgrading machine.
Fascinating! I've only ever seen the 2.4. Could you send me a picture of the 2.6?
>
We are certisfied with your details provided to us by the verification unit in Nigeria via Prof Emeawah.and Dr. Chuma Uba.Your credit card where despactched to the committee for their final approval.Please,the card was cealed and authenticated with a heavy cealer coated zinc for security reasons.Do not relate the card informations to anybody as the informations is personal and not transferable.Do not receive the mastercard if you suspect been tampered. Do not expose your secrete pin as to avoid hackers from tampering with your account informations.
I'll do that. Did Dr. Chumbawumba coat it in zinc like those lottery scratch-off tickets or something? Will I need a quarter to scrape it off?
Other informations and guided manuscript will be sending to your home address by the committee leader on card usage and instruction unit via Dr. Chuma Ubah and Prof. Emeawah.For more details,you have to send your home and office address to the committee via Dr. Chuma Uba on where you would like to receive your prepared mastercard for immediate withdrawals from your ATM creditcard account round global.
I prefer Visa. Can I get Visa? And you should already have my home address.
Contact Dr. Chuma Uba and Prof Emeawah( nigeria_republic1960@yahoo.com).And ( proffessor_emeawah@yahoo.co.uk).
What are you doctors/professors of, Dr. Chumbawumba and Professor Eamywah?
Beats me what Paul Reez is trying to accomplish here... He claims I've received something I definitely haven't. Maybe he doesn't know what "receive" means.
SIR,
WE WERE INFORMED BY DR. CHUMA UBA AND PROF.EMEAWAH THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED YOUR CREDITCARD.PLEASE,READ THE MANUAL INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE USES.IF THERE IS ANY UNCLEARED OPERATIONS,YOU LET ME KNOW.
THANK YOU
Meh, I'm feeling playful.
No, I haven't, because the idiot asked for a fee for it, which is ridiculous. There's no reason why I should pay to get money that's owed to me. That proved you lot are a bunch of scammers. You can all go hop on some heated steel spikes, for all I care. You're not getting any money from me.
Paul Reez is still a moron. The CC is SoonToExpireOMG!
Sir,
Your card will soon expire.Contact Dr. Chuma Uba/Prof.Emeawah immediately
65days has gone from the issued date.You have to pick up your card and start uses.
Thanks
But I thought I had already received it! And how am I going to get all those mill-yuns and mill-yuns I'm owed if I'm restricted to $5000 a day for 65 days? That's a mere $325,000! That won't even get me a manicure!
Dear Moron, I am not a "sir", and what part of my last message which read "asking for money in order to pay me money that is rightfully owed to me proves you are a bunch of fucking scammers" are you having trouble understanding? Have a small, brain-damaged monkey explain the really hard words to you.
Paul Reez gives it another go.
After our much observations on some fraudlent activities of hackers and creditcard fraudings surrounding your approved legal card.This management has deemed it unapproval as we noticed that some illegal person/persons has been contacting you over there asking you for one fee or the other.Please,we have withdrawed and block your card as we would like to deal with the creditcards owners directly.
Hackers has been one of the difficaulties facing your approved creditcard hence we choose to stop the further delivery of your card to you as we wouldnt like further stress to our numerous client hence we issued out the cards.
Every former details of your cards has been canceled.We have re-loaded back your card and will be sending it directly at our expense to your country home.
As soon as you receive your card,you inform me for further guidlines on usage.
Forward your home address and telephone number immediately for easy delivery.
Thanks
Dr.Paul Reez(Director of Credit card operations).
I rather ignore the 180.
How nice. Can you send that express mail?
You should already have my address, but I'll repeat it, but since you people can't seem to do anything right... *safe address removed*
I don't hear anything for a month or so.I rather ignore the 180.
After our much observations on some fraudlent activities of hackers and creditcard fraudings surrounding your approved legal card.This management has deemed it unapproval as we noticed that some illegal person/persons has been contacting you over there asking you for one fee or the other.Please,we have withdrawed and block your card as we would like to deal with the creditcards owners directly.Hackers has been one of the difficaulties facing your approved creditcard hence we choose to stop the further delivery of your card to you as we wouldnt like further stress to our numerous client hence we issued out the cards.Every former details of your cards has been canceled.We have re-loaded back your card and will be sending it directly at our expense to your country home.
How nice. Can you send that express mail?
As soon as you receive your card,you inform me for further guidlines on usage.Forward your home address and telephone number immediately for easy delivery.
You should already have my address, but I'll repeat it, but since you people can't seem to do anything right... *safe address removed*
I ask a logical question.
Well, where is my card?
Unfortunately, the prod doesn't produce any response.
posted by The Straight Bait at 6:04 AM
1 comments
